Insanity

Insanity; defined by someone doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different outcome each time. If that's the case then I'm well on my way to insanity. Old habits die hard, and this one was well aged, worn and torn, but not yet dead. No my sanity wasn't strong enough to kill it. Stupidity goes hand and hand with insanity, and I'm way passed that point. It was stupid to believe that this time was different. Stupid to put my heart on the line knowing, just knowing, it'll get crushed. And it was insane to still go through with it.

 

 " A stupid, insane, weak, ignorant, fool. That's what I've become," I mumbled angrily to myself. "It's all his fault. Jerk."

I clenched my hands into fists; tempted to turn around, and to end this crap; save myself from further humiliation. And there he was. Standing there all tall and smug. Stopping any thought I had of walking away from him for good. But the anger was still bubbling up inside me. He wouldn't walk away unscratched and carefree this time.

 

  "Genevee, why so serious?" his voice was filled with arrogance. He was expecting me. We had this mess down to a routine. Well that was about to end.

 

"Surprised to see me, Avan?" I stopped in front of him and met his beautiful gray eyes. I forced my hands to relax and gave him the sweetest smile I could manage. Not so easy when all I wanted to do was run my hands through his curly black hair.

 

 He gave me a mischievous look, "No love, I'm never surprised to see you here."

 

 I clenched my teeth at that, and my fists. I wanted so badly to smack that stupid grin off his face. But that's just what he was expecting.

 

 He shook his head at my reaction. I had disappointed him. "We do this same old song and dance time and time again. It'd be nice to change it up a bit. Wouldn't it Love?" he started to turn away.

 

  I grabbed his arm to stop him. "Yes, It would." And with that I pulled his face down to mine and pressed my lips roughly to his. I kissed him long and hard trying to ignore the fire that exploded through me. He pulled me to my tip-e-toes and I threw my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss.

 

 He groaned when I pulled away and kept me locked in his arms. When he got his breath back those cloudy eyes met my emerald ones. "What was that for?"

 

  "That was for being a jerk." I told him still breathless.

 

"Well then I should make being a jerk my profession. You've never kissed me like that, Love." he bent down expecting another one.

 

 I quickly unwound myself from his embrace and dodged his soft lips. " I don't think so."

 

               Confusion leaped into his eyes. "Then why did you do it?"

 

  "That kiss was to show you what you'll be missing if you continue on being a jerk. I know you're a professional at it, but I don't like it. In fact Avan, the only reason I've stuck around this long is because I knew you before you became one. But that's over. Unless you grow up and see what's been right in front of you for years; I'm out of here." I glared at him and had the pleasure of seeing that cocky, arrogant, perfect face twist in pain. And in seeing that I had to walk away before I took back everything I just said.

 

 "No, Genevee! Wait!" He cried out and grabbed my arm whirling me around to face him. " I know I've been a jerk. I've been wanting to change for awhile. I hated seeing you let me walk all over you. Then I realized you changed too. The old you would have told me off so quick my head would spin. I know it's my fault you changed, but I've just been waiting for that fire to spark back into. Waiting for you to put me in my place. And now you finally have. It's all I needed. You're all I've ever needed."

 

  "A simple sorry wouldn't have cut it would it have?" I whispered hoarsely. I hated that he was right. Just hated it.

 

"Sorry has never worked for us, Love." He smiled; cocky arrogant grin fully restored.

 

"I guess," I couldn't help but smile. " I love you. Even after everything."

 

"Oh I know." he laughed. "I love you too. Always. Now get over here and kiss me, Cranky." he bent down and paused before meeting my lips. Waiting for my reply.

 

"Jerk." I whispered halfheartedly and closed the space between us. I guess being Insanely stupid wasn't so bad after all.