Madison
I don't know why but when I woke up this morning, I felt lonely when I realized that I wasn't in Andre's arms. I lifted myself off the couch and then fell back down when I faced him. He was looking down at me.
"What are you doing?!" I screamed
He got off the side off the couch and sat on it, nearly crushing my legs.
"Good morning."
I looked at this boy in shock. Was he watching me sleep?
"Did you plan that last night?" he asked, as calm as ever
I thought about our little adventure last night . I didn't really know there was hidden money in this house; it was just my own curiosity.
"No,"I answered
He got off the couch and walked to the kitchen. I followed behind him, to find that he was actually making breakfast. He shoved a plate in my face and sat down on the table. The bacon and eggs smelled delicious.
"Eat." he ordered, a little too harshly
Someone's grouchy in the morning I chuckled at the thought
He looked very exhausted today and his eyes actually looked calm. I was starting to feel a little bad for him.
"What are you staring at?" he asked, bitterly. He was obviously not a morning person.
I looked at him with frustration. "We're not going to go anywhere if we act like we hate each other."
I rethought that sentence but too late, it was already out of my mouth.
"Look, I'm just tired okay," he snapped "Just eat your breakfast and-"
Ding-dong
His muscles tightened and his eyes got back to being menacing. He rushed to the door and pressed a button on the wall. A tv appeared from above the ceiling.
"State your business." he ordered
"Andre Michaels! This is your mother speaking. Let me inside that house and-"
"Mom, just wait," He looked at me, gesturing for me to stay in the kitchen. He opened the door and a woman of long black hair and gentle grey eyes entered. She was tall and athletic. I was starting to become afraid of this woman.
"Where is she?" she asked Andre, sternly
"I don't know who you're talking about." Andre lied
I wanted to hide because this woman really scared me for some reason. I thought of hiding under the table. It was the only way.
"Madison, what are you doing?" Andre asked
I looked up at him and his mother. I only made it to the ground and my heart sunk, since I got to see this scary woman up close.
"Umm...umm," This was not a time to fumble over my words, and I couldn't lie.
Andre met eyes with me and smiled. You're scared of her, aren't you, is what they whispered
"Hi, I'm Madison." I managed to tell her
She looked at me and than back to Andre. "What are you kids doing here?"
That was something I wanted to know myself.
"I saw her at a restaurant, and there were these guys-traffickers really-"
Traffickers? As in people who kidnap people to use them as slaves?
"And I just had to save her. They're tracking her down, mom. I can't allow her to go home." he explained, quickly
"Shouldn't we tell the police about this?" his mom asked
"We can but I think they would agree with me, mom.,"
They both looked at each other for a good amount of time and his mom let out an exhausted sigh.
"Please, be safe," she advised "I'm going to be checking here a lot and I'm going to call a detective. They would advise taking her somewhere secluded so you guys are going to have to pose as an underage-married couple."
"What?!"
"Yes, both of you are under eighteen. I can handle this..." she started talking to herself and then looked back at us.
"Do. Not. Have. Sex." she warned. " I understand you guys are teenagers and young love but don't do it. "
I didn't want a boyfriend so how could I want sex right now?
Andre and I nodded and then after a one last conversation with Andre, she asked me if I wanted to go out shopping with her.
"But I don't have anything else to wear,"I told her
"Nonsense. We'll go out for a few minutes and you can come back to take your bath with new clothes to wear."
So after eating my breakfast, I was shopping at an outlet mall with Ms. Michaels. We bought clothes and shoes and I was actually starting to enjoy myself. Before she could bring me back to the mansion, we went to eat at a fast-food restaurant.
"Madison, I love my son," she said, after we ordered " And this thing that he got you guys involved in..."
She started shaking her head and I could see tears coming down her face. I went out to reach for her hands but she took them away. I didn't have a son so I could only imagine her horror. I knew I had to pray for this woman. I knew that God will watch over her, giving her the feeling of safety for her and her son.
"I wouldn't do anything to hurt your son," I assured her. This was the truth
She wiped her tears and look straight at me. "Andre didn't get to know his father and his grandfather died. He only got to see my grandfather when he was little since I had Andre young. They say a wife can make a man out of their husband and you guys aren't married or anything but I do want you to make a man out of my son,"
I looked at her in awe. What could I possibly do?
"Madison, you believe in miracles right?" she asked
"Yes."
"Just be there for him, okay?"
I nodded and smiled, trying to hold back tears of my own. This was a overwhelming situation that we have gotten in. I had to pray immediately.
When I got back to the mansion, Andre was fast asleep on the couch. Suitcases were piled around him along with Chinese take-out. I started cleaning around him and went to change into my pajamas.
Just be there for him,
I did the prayer that I promised for his mom and fell onto my bed.
Don't worry. I will,
End of chapter
Continue to next chapter Savior:Chapter SixPoints:
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137,777 Literary Works • 672,064 Reviews
This is great so far!!
Keep writing!!
Hello AngelKnight900! I haven't read other chapters of your novel but from what I've read of this chapter I get the impression that it is a good work. It presents the story in a clear way and and the thoughts and feelings of the characters in a creative, well-written way. It's definitely not a boring telling but a narrative that shows. However, the dialogue needs work, especially Andre's mom's, particularly in this part:
Since Andre's mom is crying then, it means that it's an emotional conversation but the dialogue itself does not express that. It's like, " I don't get it. Why is she crying?" I suggest maybe revising the dialogue to give more emotional impact.
Also, I'm guessing that their posing as an under aged married couple is part of the premise of the story but I'm wondering why and how Andre's mom came to that conclusion. Couldn't they have posed as brother and sister? as cousins or relatives? Why do they even have to be together? Maybe this was already explained in the previous chapters and I'm looking really dumb by raising this issue. If it's already mentioned in the previous chapters, then please disregard this particular comment.
And another thing, I got a little confused about the relationship between Andre and his mom at this part:
Is it a normal occurrence that Andre is with possible crime victims and that his mom is the one usually the one taking care of it or is it Andre's business? Because the mom first asks if they should go to the police, which means that she's rather inexperienced with these kinds of things but then she tells them what they have to do, which suggests that she knows about these kinds of things, you know? Again, maybe Andre and his mom's relationship is already discussed in the previous chapter and I just don't know it because I haven't read the other chapters. If so, then just disregard. If not, then maybe you can insert a back story if this has happened before and how Andre's mom feels about her son doing this. If this is the first time this has happened then why is his mom's stand/opinion?
So I think that's all I have to say. Again, I think this is good work; I like how there's emotion that's being shown in the characters and that it's not just told, just more work on the dialogue that I mentioned. (The rest of the dialogue is good.) But, overall, good work! Thumbs up!:)
YAY!! The next chapter! This is so exciting to me!!
Here we go again!
I love love love this!
Keep writing! You're very talented!
Blondie Missy Angel