Royal Engagment (once again continued)

Kyla continued stared dumbfounded.

"You do not love me, it is only infatuation."

She turned her back to him and proceeded to lace up the back of her dress, Tristan's hand on her back stopped her.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to assist to you, now hold still."

Even if she had tried to she couldn't have controlled the way her body trembled beneath his touch.

His touch felt like fire upon her skin and her body leaped up to receive it.

Unaware of Tristan's labored breathing as he tried to lace it she remained quiet and let him lace it up.

Kyla was not the only one who was reacting this way, every time his fingers grazed her bare skin he felt a desire coil in the pit of his stomach unlike any ever known. If only she knew of his true feelings, he was honestly in love with this woman and would try anything to get her to fall in love with him.

"Ah there you are." the king remarked as her saw Kyla and Tristan make their way to him.

Kyla looked as if she were thinking of something bothersome and Tristan looked as if he were a hungry wolf on the prowl.

Tristan smiled and said

"Yes sorry for the delay."

"No need to be sorry, but you will be sorry if you do not eat."

Laughing at the kings remark Tristan took Kyla's hand to escort her the the dining hall, she took his hand without a word and followed.

At least they are not at each others throats he thought to himself, and he liked Tristan.

In Tristan's eyes he saw kindness and care and knew he could trust Kyla to this man when he left this world behind.

He walked into the room where a grand feast awaited and sat at the head of the table. Kyla and Tristan were seated at the right of the table where they said nothing to each other only talked to those around him. He rubbed his chin in thought, perhaps he would help the young Tristan woo his untameable daughter.

After the feast and good nights had been said Kyla retired to bed dreading the thought of having Tristan in bed next to her, what would she do?

She promised herself if he tried to do anything with her she would slit his throat and bury him.

As for explanations, he had simply left and not said a word to her and her father. If they didn't fall for that she did not care, she loved being in war. War gave her a chance to work her frustrations of her mother and brothers death on those held responsible.

Tristan she admitted was kind and quite handsome would not seduce her with his charming looks or of his kindness his brother lacked. She watched as he followed her into her, their room.

The thought of that caused her stomach to jump, why was she acting like this. She had no feelings for him so why did he cause her to react like this? Sensing her stare he glanced at her and she looked away, he knew what she was thinking to herself. She thought he was just like his brother and Father, a monster lusting for land and power and she was his way to it. He would somehow prove his love to her, even if it meant betraying his family.

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kaitlyn
Review
kaitlyn wrote a review · Thu Aug 20, 2020 5:05 am

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.

First Impression: Okayy so this seems like a really fun idea and I may just actually go looking for the other parts of this. However the third person omniscient POV that you are using is just really hard to keep track of. There is definitely a time and a place to use that style but the way that it's used here just really confuses the reader. But maybe that's just me so take that with a grain of salt.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Kyla continued stared dumbfounded.

"You do not love me, it is only infatuation."


Well that's quite a statement. I suppose the only reason this appears confusing to me is because I have not read the original because I did not run into If I remember correctly.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to assist to you, now hold still."


Seems an odd statement to transition to after the literal bomb that the other statement was.

Even if she had tried to she couldn't have controlled the way her body trembled beneath his touch.

His touch felt like fire upon her skin and her body leaped up to receive it.


And now its getting hot in here all of a sudden. That's quite a journey in only six sentences.

Kyla was not the only one who was reacting this way, every time his fingers grazed her bare skin he felt a desire coil in the pit of his stomach unlike any ever known. If only she knew of his true feelings, he was honestly in love with this woman and would try anything to get her to fall in love with him.


Well that's again yet another twist in the tale. This one is moving [i]fast[/s].

"Ah there you are." the king remarked as her saw Kyla and Tristan make their way to him.


And now a king is also thrown into the mix. This is really moving very fast.

In Tristan's eyes he saw kindness and care and knew he could trust Kyla to this man when he left this world behind.


O....K This is taken a somewhat confusing turn here because I can't seem to nail down what exactly the point of view that we are experiencing this through is.

He walked into the room where a grand feast awaited and sat at the head of the table. Kyla and Tristan were seated at the right of the table where they said nothing to each other only talked to those around him. He rubbed his chin in thought, perhaps he would help the young Tristan woo his untameable daughter.


Okay now I think this might be the king and that's some very confusing head hopping if that is actually what this is.

As for explanations, he had simply left and not said a word to her and her father. If they didn't fall for that she did not care, she loved being in war. War gave her a chance to work her frustrations of her mother and brothers death on those held responsible.

Tristan she admitted was kind and quite handsome would not seduce her with his charming looks or of his kindness his brother lacked. She watched as he followed her into her, their room.


Okay you really need to make the transitions from these different points of view much clearer than this. At this rate I can barely keep up with who is thinking about what.

Aaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: So not much to add here. I think I pretty much covered everything about this story in the first bit itself. Nonetheless this was still a pretty nice story to read and the language that you used was great so there's that. And that's about it.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

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AngelBaby88
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Thanks :whistle:

I found you! Haha!
I love how you write. It makes me jealous! :x Haha.
Can't wait to read more!
Lily.



Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
— Mark Twain