I miss you when I watch you walk out the door
You are the one I love and the one I adore,
The warm smile on your friendly face
Shows me I am home and some where safe.
To belong to you is what I have longed for
We have been together for a year and there'll be many more.
The warmth of your breath, the glitter in your eyes
Makes me wish our love never dies.
So hold me now, and let this love never end
For you are forever my lover, and my best friend.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
A cute poem. Perhaps you could experiment with more complex verses and vocabulary.
You have a nice style, but that's what I think you should do to develop as a poet.
this is a very cute poem - i just have minor suggestion:
could you slip in some words with the last two lines - the rhythm feels off from itself and the rest of the poem.
otherwise, it was a cute rhyming pattern, held the meaning and just was cute. (for lack of a better word.)
sorta Christmas-y to me..well...because i'm Christian and american and it's...er...christmastime.