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Dreams- please review

by Angel17

Published December 31, 2005

I dream of you day and night
Memories of us are still shining bright.
I skip from us happy to you saying goodbye.
I used to dream in colour, but now only black and white.
Let me see you once more, before you break my heart
Can't we go back to the way we were at the start.
We won't meet again if its not meant to be,
But i hope you'll be happy, and never forget me.

Comments & reviews · 1
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Matt Bellamy
Review
Matt Bellamy wrote a review Review · Jan 6, 2006

Well it's catchy. At the moment it seems little more than an outlet of angst, which I don't begrudge you, I do it often. But if you want to improve this poem, you have to make it your own. I could have written this. I didn't, but it's simple enough for me to copy the style. You need to put a bit of you into it, or not you-maybe you want to make it so it's not you speaking. Maybe it isn't. Maybe it's somebody else. I've read a lot of poems like this. You could make it longer, add description, metaphors, imagery, play around with the structure, the meter, the rhyming scheme, anything. Have fun with it.



It's easier to come up with new stories than it is to finish the ones you already have. I think every author would feel that way.
— Stephanie Meyer