Published December 10, 2005
Stay with me or forever go
If you leave then i don't want to know.
Love me, or let me be
Walk away and let me be free.
Open your eyes and begin to see
You are just destroying me.
If you go then it's the end
I don't just want to be friends.
You hurt me, i'm not sure if i want you back
If it happens again i will probably attack.
Stop messing with my head
Inside i'm almost dead.
With your twisted ways,
I feel i'm trapped in a maze.
I feel confused and afraid
What if the wrong decision is made?
So give me a year, give me a day
Should I go or should I stay?
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141,342 Literary Works • 674,350 Reviews
I agree, I didn't like the rhyme scheme at all. I'm not a fan of the AABB scheme in general, as more often than not it sounds sing-songy and nursery rhymish. That aside, I really liked this piece, the ideas of it, and some of the language you chose. You had some great lines in there, such as "Open your eyes and begin to see, you are just destroying me," and "Stay with me or forever go, if you leave I don't want to know." Again, the message and emotions in those lines is very strong, but the rhyme scheme takes away from it a little.
All right, the last line was really strong.
However, while you got the meaning of the poem across, you used a really choppy flow to do it. The rhyme scheme was obvious, but forced.