Pirates

Chapter One

Pirates!

He’s wrong he’s right. Andrea was starting to feel dizzy. Pirate ships had been seen sailing along the coast of Iceland. The men were having a serious argument about what to do.

One group of men said that they should send out the men to fight against the pirates and the other half said they should stay where they were until the pirates attacked their villages and then fight but Andrea had her eye on one man, her father, the chief of Iceland. Her three brothers was standing next to her father. Her fathers name was Owen and was also a wonderful leader, her brothers names were Erik, Le’ton and Fajara. Erik who was the oldest loved adventures and hunting. Le’ton was very quite but also had a very quick temper that flared up at any given time though he was very kind too and he was the second oldest, Fajara was a born leader he made everything seem fine and made you feel comfortable and he was the youngest of the brothers. Andrea was a little like her brothers, she also had a quick temper, she was kind and caring and she loved adventures. Andrea unlike her brothers had beautiful black hair, dark blue eyes, and a very pale skin and was very strong headed. Her brothers all had a shock of red hair, dark green eyes, they were also very tall and had very strong figures.

Owen called for silence. Then he said, we have a serious problem on our hands. Pirates are starting to enter our territory. Some of you say that we should send our brothers, fathers and sons out to war and some of you say we should stay home until the pirates attack us so that we can attack them nearer to our villages. I say that we send our men out to war but keep a few of our men here to protect our women and children. Andrea who was standing outside of the window of the meeting house on a big pail got a sudden chill because she knew what was coming. She wasn’t even supposed to be here. If one of the men found her she would be in big trouble. It was very cold and the sun was starting to go over the mountains. Then Owen said, we should ask the gods first, Andrea did not stay to hear the rest. She knew that they would sacrifice something. It was an awful ritual. She ran all the way home even though their house was not very far away. When she got home she immediately saw that her mother was not on her usual place, in front of the fire sitting in her rocking chair reading to the little ones who were usually sitting on the bear skin her father and brothers had caught four winters ago. That was the same time her two oldest brothers had died. Reed had died in war against Germany and Ci’ltine had died on an attack to invade Germany. Both of the brothers had died because of Germany Kat’rine Anthia’s mother had said so many times her eyes filled with hatred. Andrea had been very small when Reed and Ci’ltine had died. Mama where are you? Mama are you here? Panic gripped her heart when Lenita the youngest of the children ran into Andrea’s arms crying. Andrea tried to calm the child but it didn’t work. What happened Andrea asked gently? The, These men came and stole mama, took Rita and Onaild, [Andrea’s other brother and sister], then Lenita said, I kicked the Big man really hard and he let me go she sobbed. Andrea smiled slightly but quickly had to decide what to do. Lenita stay here I am going to call papa. No please dont, Lenita cried, I want to come with you. Fine Andrea said. Get onto my back. As they ran Andrea asked Lenita, Where did they take mama? I don’t know Lenita said. When they reached the meeting house Andrea started shouting for them to open the door. It was quickly opened and she was pulled in. Andrea what are you doing here Owen asked? They took mama and Rita and Onaild she said quickly. Be calm child. I cant here anything you’re saying said Owen. Andrea took a deep breath and then saw she had interrupted the sacrificing ritual. Her stomach made a lurch as she saw the stone table full of something they had offered. You were not supposed to see that murmured one of the men standing in one of the back rows. Anthia ignored him and tried to ignore the table and continued. She started from getting home, her father did not need to know she had been listening outside the window of the meeting house and if she did tell him she would get into big trouble. She carried on saying what Lenita had told her. When she had finished her father gave a roar of anger and said, the pirates have invaded. I have already lost two sons to Germany I will not lose my wife and children to them too. Andrea I need you to take Lenita home, put her in bed. Then I want you to stay home. Le’ton will stay there with you until we return said Owen. But Papa I want to come with you said Le’ton, his temper rising. I promised Fajara I would take him with us the next time we go to war Owen said clearly embarrassed by his sons temper and besides someone needs to look after your sisters. I can look after myself said Andrea angrily. The men laughed. That’s very funny hissed Le’ton. Andrea’s face turned red with anger. That’s enough said Owen. Le’ton take your sisters home he said then he turned to his men. We need to………

Andrea did not hear the rest of what her father said because Le’ton picked Lenita up and told her to hurry up. Andrea had to hurry to keep up with Le’ton. He didn’t usually wait for someone when he was walking. In many ways Andrea was like Le’ton. She had the same temper and was the same strong headed person but they were not very close. Andrea sometimes thought that she would have liked to know her brother better but Le’ton did not really want anything to do with his younger sister. As he walked faster and faster Andrea could not keep up anymore. Slow down. For goodness sake said Andrea. Le’ton did not answer but handed the four year old Lenita to Andrea. Hey what are you doing? She’s too heavy for me Le’ton. Shhhhhh he hissed. What’s wrong Andrea asked? He didn’t answer but pointed in front of them a few feet away. There were a few men walking towards them. As it was already dark she couldn’t see who they were but she saw there was about five of them. Get into the bush he said. She went but then she realized Le’ton wasn’t coming with her. What are you doing she whispered. Go into the bush now Andrea and don’t come out until I call you he said firmly. She hurried into the bush. She sat down quickly with Lenita. Lenita who had been very quite throughout the journey suddenly whimpered. Shhh Leni. I want mama she cried. SHHH Lenita. Andrea realized the men were very near Le’ton. What was he doing? He was still standing in the middle of the road. He didn’t even know who they were. What if they were the pirates? When the strange men were suddenly right in front of Le’ton Andrea saw a glint of a knife. You boy said the tallest of the men, you’re not supposed to be out this late. You are supposed to be in your cot like all your other pathetic clan. That was the wrong thing to say to Le’ton when he was still angry from earlier. He gave a shout of anger when he attacked the men. He was no match for them. He was one against five fully grown men. He fought his hardest taking out all his anger out on them. The men gave a few shouts of pain here and there but the battle quickly ended. Anthia watched in horror as they kicked and used their knife on Le’ton. Andrea jumped out of the bush with a stone in her hand and threw it at the biggest man. You pig leave my brother alone. Leave my brother Andrea quickly realized her mistake when the man laughed and picked her up roughly. AHHHHH a little girly thinks she can hurt me. All the men laughed at his joke. Le’ton suddenly came out of nowhere and hit the man so hard he fell over. The other men were so stunned that they did not realize Le’ton going to the bush picking up Lenita and telling Andrea to hurry up. Andrea followed her brother as they hurried away. When they were out of sight of the men Le’ton suddenly sat down under a tree. He looked awful. For the second time that day Andrea felt hopeless.

Chapter Two

Revenge

Le’ton are you okay? He groaned. He had cuts and bruises all over his body. She ran to Le’ton. The thing that shocked her the most was that he was able to have carried Lenita all that way but his head looked the worst. She shook him, he gave a groan. We need to go home Le’ton. He did not answer. Lenita come and help me to carry him said Andrea. Lenita looked with disgust over to her bloody brother. Lenita come and help me now Andrea shouted. Frightened Lenita hurried over. You pick up his feet and I’ll pick up his hands. They strained with Le’ton all the way home. As they entered the house Lenita immediately dropped Le’ton on the floor and ran to her room crying. Thanks a lot Andrea said. She dragged Le’ton onto the bear skin and got a cloth for his head. Then she went to the cupboard her mother always put the medicines in. There was a bundle of herbs, cloth, and a few other things. She took out the whole basket and put it next to Le’ton. He had not made a sound throughout the journey. Andrea added more wood to the fire because by this time it was burning low. It quickly blazed up again. Andrea was happy for the warmth. She tried to clean Le’ton up the best she could. What was she supposed to do now? She couldn’t carry Le’ton to his bed, he was much to heavy for that and papa wasn’t home yet and mama was probably not going to come home for quite a while. She decided to go and put Lenita in her bed. First she made Le’ton as comfortable as possible and then she went to find Lenita. When she finally found her she was hiding under the bed. What are you doing under there? Leave me alone Lenita said. Andrea pulled the squirming Lenita out from under the bed. Instead of running away Lenita sank into Andrea’s arms crying. Lenita cried for a while and Andrea tried to comfort her little sister. They both looked awful. Their clothes and faces were dirty and muddy. You cant get into bed like this Leni said Andrea. I will make you a bath. She brought the big tub in from outside and then boiled some hot water on the fire. When it was ready she put her sister into the bath like she had see her mother do with the younger children. She scrubbed her as hard as she could and washed her hair too. When she was finished she dried her of with a cloth and then quickly dressed her. When Lenita was in bed Andrea said that she would sing to her to fall asleep. She sang one of the lullaby’s she had heard from her mother. When Lenita was almost asleep she opened one eye and said, if mama doesn’t come back I am okay with it you being mama and then she fell fast asleep. Andrea was stunned. What if her mother never came back. Tears welled up but she quickly brushed them away. She went back to Le’ton. That’s when she heard someone entering the long house. Papa she thought but she had to be careful. What if it was one of the Pirates again. If it was she would be ready. She picked up one of Reeds swords and took of the sheath. She ran to the place she had heard the person entering the house shouting for them to go away. She was met by three astonished people. She started crying when she saw who they were. The people were Papa, her brothers but her mother was not there. Andrea child what’s the matter. Papa she cried, Le’tons hurt pointing to where Le’ton lay. What happened he asked quietly but she could see the anger in his eyes. Pirates Andrea said, Probably the Germans. Did they do anything to you and your sister Owen asked the anger in his eyes turning quickly into fear. The biggest man tried to hurt me but Le’ton helped me said Andrea. I don’t know where he had the strength to even stand up let alone knock him to the ground She said with a small smile. Owen turned to Le’ton and once again anger reentered his eyes. Andrea he said is Le’ton still alive Owen said his voice shaking slightly. Andrea gasped for breath as if someone had hit her in the stomach. She ran over to Le’ton. His chest was rising up and down very unsteadily. His face was pale and the expression on his face was pained. Papa I think he’s dying said Andrea, her voice sounding hollow to her ears. Unlike Le’tons face her fathers face had no expression, His dark eyes were haunting. Erik, Fajara said Owen take your brother to his bed. Erik and Fajara walked over to their brother, picking him up gently. Anthia looked at Erik and Fajara’s faces. She couldn’t understand it. They showed no emotions. Their faces were pale and their eyes haunting. That night as she lay in bed she thought about the happenings of that day. What had happened? She couldn’t talk to anyone. If only Reed and Ci’ltine were here. She felt hollow inside as if nothing mattered in her life. She could not be sure if Le’ton would live. When she finally fell asleep she had a dream. The dream started with Andrea and her brother Reed walking down a beautiful road. It had flowers down the side of it and you could see snow capped mountains in the distance. Then Reed asked her, why aren’t you going to him Andrea? Don’t you hear him calling? Suddenly Reed was picked up by something white and beautiful and Andrea was left on the road. Come back she cried. Darkness fell around her and there were black things with red eyes laughing there hideous laughs and trying to claw at her with their long black claws. Help me Andrea cried. Then someone with sparkling white clothes, a beautifully kind face and a white shining sword with fire surrounding it slashed at the black things killing them instantly. The man turned around and held out his hands to her and then she saw the marks on his wrists. Do not be afraid he said gently. Come to me Andrea and then she woke up. She found Erik leaning over her. You were calling for Reed he whispered. It was still dark outside. I’m sorry said Andrea. I cant sleep he said. What happened when we left from the meeting house Erik asked Andrea. Erik was quite for a while and then said, You should go back to sleep, I’m going for a walk. Erik why wont you tell me said Andrea? Just leave it okay said Erik. Erik tell me what happened Andrea whispered. I ‘m going for a walk he repeated. Well then I’m going with you she said, Just wait a minute. I need to get dressed she said. When she had finished, Erik was already walking out of the door. You know you look so much like Reed and mama said Erik when Andrea finally caught up. Stop changing the subject Erik said Andrea. I asked you a question she said. Erik stopped walking abruptly and said, do you really want to know what happened? Yes she said. He looked at her for a moment and then said, after you left with Le’ton father made plans to attack the pirates, or at least find out why they were here and maybe to find mother. He carried on walking and Andrea followed. Father put us into groups and told us to search different areas of Iceland but to take weapons before we leave he said. Fajara went with father and I went with a few of the other men. We walked for a few miles and found nothing. We sent out a few of the searchers to look over the hills and so on. They came back after an hour and told us what they had seen. They said they had seen the pirates had set up camp behind the eastern hills, he stopped and said, pretty clever don’t you think? They are well hidden behind the thick brush he said. He carried on. We went to investigate and sure enough they were there. We sent the searchers out again to find father and tell him where we were. Father came quickly and we made plans to attack he said. We took them by surprise but they were very quick to attack. We captured the leader and a few other prisoners but the leader was rather young if you ask me, he was about the same age as you he said. So he would have been about fourteen or fifteen years old Andrea asked? Yes Erik answered, looking a little puzzled. He cant be old enough to be a leader can he asked Anthia. How should I know what kind of devilish, inhuman like thoughts they have on how old you should be to be a leader, he stopped looking at her and realized he had been talking to someone who was still very young and tender of heart. Her young face looked white and strained. He felt suddenly sorry for his little sister. Do you want to sit down for a while? he said slowing down his pace. No she said. He did not ask again and continued his story. We tried to get some information out of the prisoners about mama but they refused to tell anything to Icelandic slugs he said. After a few hours me and father and a few other men left for home but we left some people to guard the prisoners he said. We were half way home when one of the guards came running after us he said. The guard told us that the German pirates had escaped and the only reason why he had escaped was because they had brutally killed the other guards and they had told him to tell us that no body could contain a German! Was cousin Mark one of the guards Andrea asked fearfully? Yes said Erik quietly. Oh no, he died didn’t he said Andrea? Yes said Erik. They were silent for a while. Andrea knew that the story was finished and after a while Erik said that they should turn back to go home. Whey they got home she went to go and see Le’ton. She entered his room and was aware of something dark filling every inch of the room. She tried to forget about it but couldn’t as she looked at Le’tons face. His face was a little less pale but his expression was still pained. He hasn’t even opened his eyes yet said Owen coming out from under the shadows. I don’t know what to do, I have prayed to the gods and sacrificed but nothing seems to be working Owen said. I am sure he will wake up soon papa said Andrea. Owen did not answer. After a while of silence Owen said, I see Erik told you what happened he said. Do you have any idea where mama and the little ones are asked Andrea? No said Owen. Then without a word he left the room leaving Andrea with Le’ton. That night she had the same dream again. She was walking with Reed on the beautiful road and he asked her again why she wasn’t coming to him and why didn’t she hear him calling and then the beautiful white thing caught him and took him up leaving her on the road and once again the hideous black things with their long black claws tried to scratch her and she called out for help and there the beautiful man with the kindly face with his white sparkling clothes and his glimmering sword saved her and was calling her to him and then she was woken up this time by Fajara. Shut up for goodness sake he whispered. Cant you see some people are actually trying to sleep here he said harshly. Is it needed to speak to your sister like that said Erik entering the room. Well you’re one to talk said Fajara. Lower your voice or the whole of Iceland will hear you said Erik. No I will not said Fajara loudly and pushed Erik onto the floor. Erik stood up and hit Fajara hard across the face. Will you two stop it said Andrea standing in the middle of her fighting brothers. They both looked down at her glaring and she glared back. Do you want to wake up papa and Lenita she said. Start acting your age she shouted. Look who’s going to wake up the whole of Iceland now said Fajara. You know what just get out of my room said Andrea. I don’t want a bunch of babies who are trying to kill each other in my room she said pushing them out of her room, closing and locking the door after them. She sighed and lay down on her bed thinking about the dream that had been haunting her for two nights now. What could it mean she thought. It couldn’t carry on this way. She was going to wake up every body every single night if she couldn’t stop the dream but was that possible? Someone knocked on her door. Go away she shouted. Andrea let us in. She recognized Erik’s voice. Do you really think I want another fight in my room said Andrea. Andrea we just want to talk to you said Fajara. Andrea slowly stood up and hesitantly unlocked the door. She stood back as her brothers entered the room. Instead of apologizing as Andrea thought they would do, they were both smiling as Erik said, Le’tons woken up he said smiling from ear to ear. Andrea jumped up starting to run to Le’tons room. Fajara stopped her saying, be quite he’s still really weak. Can I go and see him asked Andrea? Yes said Erik but be really quite. Lenita is with him said Fajara. Andrea hurried to her brothers room. She stopped outside of the door and saw Lenita leaning over Le’ton. She quickly retreated but stood by the wall so that they would not see her. She listened to their conversation. When are you going to get better Lenita asked Le’ton? Soon Leni he said with a troubled expression on his face. Lenita started crying. Andrea went into the room and went over to Lenita. Why don’t you go to your room and play said Andrea. Lenita scurried of. Andrea pulled a chair closer to Le’tons bed. How are you feeling she asked him. Better thanks he said. There was an awkward silence. Thanks for saving me back there she said. What do you mean he said. You don’t remember what happened she asked? He shook his head. I remember walking away from the meeting house with you and Lenita and then seeing people walking towards us but from there I don’t remember anything Said Le’ton. As Le’ton finished she immediately felt the darkness that she had tried to ignore. What’s wrong asked Le’ton? Nothing she said. When she looked back at Le’ton his eyes were closed. Frightened she shook him. He opened his eyes looking worried. Are you ok she asked him? Yes he said, I just closed my eyes for a second. I’m sorry she said, I thought you were, Le’ton stopped her, Lets forget about it okay? Okay said Andrea. Do you need anything she asked? No but could you open the curtain he said? Andrea went to open the curtain and immediately sunlight swept into the room making it warmer and happier but strangely she could still feel the darkness. She gave Le’ton a smile as she walked out of the door. She heard someone singing in the kitchen. It was a woman’s voice. She knew that voice. A smile lit her face as she entered the kitchen. She ran into the old woman’s arms shouting grandmamma. Papa didn’t tell me you were coming. The old woman smiled and said, if your papa had told you I was coming it would not have been a surprise would it? How long are you staying asked Andrea? As long as you need me the old woman said. Did Papa tell you what’s happened the past few days? Yes she said. So you know that they took mama and Rita and Onaild? Yes child but I know that they will be alright said the old woman. Andrea saw the untruth of her grandmothers words. I think I’m going for a walk said Andrea slowly. I don’t think you should said the old woman, you know how dangerous it is. I just want to get a breath of fresh air and if I’m not back in a hour then you can send out the whole of Iceland to look for me said Andrea smiling. Yes alright but be careful said the old woman. As Andrea left Owen came in through the back door. Owen did not see his daughter leave. He smiled at his mother-in-law. Has Andrea seen you yet Gina he said to his mother-in-law smiling. Yes she has said Gina. I think it will be good for you to be here said Owen to Gina. Yes so that I may cook, clean and look after you and your family said Gina holding a very firm face. I didn’t mean it like that he said quickly and then saw the smile on her face. He smiled back at her and then he thought again of his abducted wife and children. You will find them Owen said Gina as if she could see what he was thinking. Owen looked at the kind old woman’s face and said I just want you to know that I will search every part of the earth to find them. I know you will said Gina. Andrea ran into the room again and saw Owen and Gina standing there. Sorry I forget, Andrea stopped, sorry I am I interrupting something? No of course not said Owen. I will see you two later he walking of. So what did you forget said Gina looking at Andrea? I forgot to say goodbye said Andrea giving her grandmother a hug. Gina laughed and said, don’t take too long with your walk, it’s starting to get dark. Andrea nodded and walked out of the door again. Her grandmother was right, it was starting to get dark but she needed to clear her head Andrea thought. Andrea walked away a little way from the house and then turned to walk into the forest. She walked further and further into the forest and then sat down. She sat there for a while, listening to the wind rustling through the trees and the birds growing quieter and quieter. It was almost dark. She stood up to go back home when she heard a sound behind her. Andrea whirled around to see nothing. Must have been a mouse she thought. Andrea carried on walking. Andrea heard another sound to her left. Who’s there she shouted. Andrea heard another sound behind her. She quickly turned around to see a young boys face and then felt a sharp pain in her head, before she blacked out completely she heard someone say, Lets take her to the ship before anyone can catch us, someone laughed and said as if anyone could capture a German.

Andrea woke up to the sound of laughing. Andrea looked around her and found herself on a ship that was rocking gently. There were a few men in the corner of the ship, talking and laughing. Andrea looked desperately around for ways of escape as the memory of what had happened in the forest flooded back to her. Don’t even think about it said a thick German accented voice behind her. Andrea whirled around to see a boy about the same age as her, he had dark blue eyes and had dark black hair and strangely the boy reminded her of someone. The boy smiled. Welcome to your new home he said with an evil glint in his eyes. Andrea stood up and slapped him through the face. What was that for he said angrily. That was for taking me from home and if you don’t take me back right know I will, Andrea stopped and looked around her. Where am I Andrea said. You my dear are on a ship to Germany said the boy smiling. You cant do this said Andrea wildly running to the other end of the ship. Andrea could see nothing but the open sea but mist was beginning to roll in. You cant jump off the ship if that’s what you want to do said the boy smirking. Try me said Andrea. The boys face quickly turned into a frown when he saw that she meant it. Andrea turned around and jumped into the water. The freezing cold water made contact with Andrea’s skin seconds later. Andrea tried to swim against the strong current. It was lucky that Owen had shown her how to swim. Andrea could hear shouts from the ship and was shocked to see the ship heading her way. Andrea felt the ship make contact with her head and then she blacked out.

Andrea woke up and found herself in a small room. She was gently being rocked by the ships rolling in a hammock. Andrea became aware of someone staring at her. Andrea gasped for breath as a sharp pain shot up her spine. She tried to stand up but was pushed back gently. Andrea focused her eyes on the person. Not another boy Andrea groaned. Are you alright the boy said. Andrea looked at the boy again and saw that it wasn’t the same boy she had talked to before she had jumped into the water. No I’m not alright said Andrea. Did you take anyone else from my land Andrea asked the boy. Yes its just you said the boy and a woman and her children but we have already sent them on another ship. Mama thought Andrea What do you want me for asked Andrea. Well my brother forgot that he had to get a present for my sister for her birthday he said and you are going to be the present he said to Andrea. Do you mean I am going to be a servant to your sister said Andrea feeling her temper rising. Yes said the boy. Do you know who I am said Andrea and before the boy could answer she said I am a princess of Iceland, the daughter of the chieftain of Iceland she shouted. That’s even better, Lara likes her servants to be of a high breed said the boy. My father will come after me said Andrea. We will see about that said the boy. He stood up and started walking to the door but he quickly turned around and said What’s your name he asked Andrea. What’s yours Andrea asked the boy. My name is Luca said the boy. Andrea did not give her name to him. Are you going to give me your name said Luca. Andrea did not answer. I guess you aren’t said Luca. Andrea glared at Luca. You have to let me go said Andrea. You cant just go around taking people from their homes said Andrea. You know that’s what I told my brother when he told me what present he was going to give Lara said Luca and you just gave into your brothers plans said Andrea. Yes, after awhile and Rueben convinced me it would be fun said Luca smiling. Andrea looked at him astonished. How could he be so carefree and happy when the situation was so serious and dangerous. Don’t you understand what will happen when my father and brothers realize that Germans have taken an Icelandic princess said Andrea looking for the expression on Luca’s face. You know you are very proud said Luca. In which way said Anthia? You call yourself a princess said Luca smiling slightly. Andrea felt her face go warm with anger. Luca saw that Andrea was angry and then quickly tried to change the subject. So you aren’t going to give me your name said Luca. No said Anthia firmly. Well then I am going to leave and if you want any thing just call for Janette said Luca. You cant do this said Andrea. Please take me back and I’m sure my father could give you something better for your sister said Andrea. Do you think we are so stupid as to face the wrath of a angry chieftain let alone a angry father. Please let me go said Andrea looking for some kind of pity in Luca’s eyes. She couldn’t find any. I’m sorry said Luca. The voyage will be three months said Luca. Luca looked at Andrea’s downcast face. Think about it this way, you can have an adventure while you are here. Oh wow I cant wait said Andrea. Luca walked to the door but before he walked out he looked again at the strange girl. She reminded him of someone. Luca shook the thought from his head. He walked out of the door and locked it behind him and started making his way to Rueben’s cabin. Luca hesitated outside of Rueben’s door but then finally knocked on the door. There was no answer. Luca knocked again. Still no answer. Luca tried the handle of the door. It opened easily. Rueben was leaning over maps but did not look up to see who had entered the cabin. Luca stared at his brother. What do you want said Rueben gruffly. Luca took a seat behind Rueben’s desk. I talked to the girl said Luca. Rueben didn’t say anything. You do realize that the girls father will start to look for her and then of course he will put one and one together said Luca leaning back in his chair. What do you suppose I do said Rueben talking for the first time and what are we supposed to do about father and his conversion. You are the one who got us into this said Luca coolly and not to mention what father will say when he sees that he entrusted a ship to you and told you to bring gifts to Iceland to make peace but instead you took the chieftains daughter for our sisters birthday present and we cant do anything about father. If I go down you go down with me said Rueben trying not to smile. We’ll see said Luca smiling. You spoke to the girl said Rueben changing the subject. Can you believe she actually tried to swim to shore and of course believe me she’s not very happy about being a birthday present!

Chapter Three

Ghosts ahoy!

Andrea looked around her cabin. There was a barred and bolted, filthy little window above her hammock but besides that there was only a small chest lying next to the door of her prison. Slowly she stood up and walked to the little chest. It opened easily. It didn’t even have a lock. Andrea slowly opened the chest. Inside was a little book and right next to the book was a neatly folded letter. Andrea picked up the letter but immediately felt that it was damp. She opened it carefully. Most of the letters were smudged from the water but she could make out most of it. Andrea was surprised that she could read it. It was written in her own language. She read it quietly to herself.

My dear sons. I have been trying to tell you the truth about…… but you are obviously not taking it in. I know that it must be strange for you but sometimes you need to open your eyes to what will and always be there. He has come to … us but it is your choice if you want to be ……….. ….. of you not to take my warning lightly. I need you to make peace with Iceland and if you succeed you will be rewarded. I wish you both well as my … and I …… that you will be kept safe. I also hope that you will start reading this very special book I have given you. Look after it well. We all wait for your safe return …………

Your father.

What did the letter mean? Most of the words were smudged out. It was obviously written to someone in the higher ranks of Germany. Andrea picked up the little book. It was also a little damp but it had a strong cover so none of the words were smudged.

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
Kale
Review
Kale wrote a review · Sun Jun 13, 2010 8:20 pm

Hello there, and welcome to YWS. I see you've only made this one post, so I suggest that you go out and review other people's writing and maybe introduce yourself over at the Welcome Mat. :D

Now, as far as your story goes, I'm afraid I didn't read it through for a couple of reasons. The first reason is sheer length. It's not as easy to read long pieces of writing on a computer screen, so when a potential reader takes a look at something, if it looks long, they might become intimidated by the length and not read it. You can post up your story in parts, and a good maximum length for story is around 2000 words.

Another issue that added to the length problem was the lack of paragraphs. Everything is essentially lumped together into a few giant paragraphs, and this makes your story really hard to read. In addition, you're missing quotation marks, so there's no easy way for the readers to tell whether or not someone is speaking, or who, which is very confusing.

Overall, I suggest you practice breaking things up into paragraphs and using quotation marks. Also, in the future, post your story up in parts so that it's easier to read.

Good luck writing!

User avatar
Way2Dawn
Review

Hey let me start off by saying that I was only able to read the first chapter and write a quick review. However from what I read it seems like a engaging story at has a lot of potential. Ive enjoy the first chapter and only have a minor suggestions.
It seems that you introduced the brothers a bit too early and it feels their descriptions are a bit miss placed and rushed.
Also I wonder what kind of girl the main character besides her physical appearance.
I also suggest that you a bit of revising and editing to touch on the few bumps.
Again I enjoyed your story and will continue to read on when I have some more free time.
Keep writing!



Do. Or do not. There is no try.
— Yoda