I am an acrobat on the highwire.
Below, demons jeer,
Hell's dogs sneer.
And I step.
Flames tickle my feet
as the wire burns my soles.
The platform watches
with a stony face;
its promises abound.
The reward will be great,
but only if I can reach it
with Hell's dogs breathing down my neck.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Hey, it's me again - I reviewed your other poem I do believe
Nice piece! Short and sweet, but good description. I'm not sure whether the highwire symbolises something else but either way I enjoyed this and the emotions it seemed to evoke, to me it felt like the narrator was really under pressure here. Eek, walking on a highwire must be terrifying, and I'm not even afraid of heights.
Just a bit unsure about the last line of this bit, I'm not really sure what you mean by that but maybe that's just me. I liked the personification of the platform though, a very effective technique.
Really liked this part, not quite sure why.
Anyway there's not really much more nit-picking/criticising to do; this piece was intriguing and a good read. I think you could have even made it longer if you wanted. Good job!
Hello there =] What I found really interesting about this piece is that just yesterday I watched this show called Circus, (actually I watched numerous hours of it =]) But anyway, seeing someone write something about the high wire made me go Oh! I know this! So yeah, very strange that I happened to find this =]
Anyway, I think the poem was pretty good overall. You had a lot of descriptions. You talk about these demons and hell dogs below, and it makes me think whether this poem is literal or figurative? In the sense that you actually want us to think you're on a highwire or if its just a symbol for something else entirely. But whenever I think of those women and men up there... I think its beautiful. I'm absolutely terrified for them but at the same time they look so graceful and strong clear up there. You might want to explain a bit more on the demons and dogs, and maybe what you yourself, as the acrobat, are feeling and why exactly you're feeling it.
This is a nice piece, good descriptions, short and to the point. Well done =]
I really enjoyed it. Impressive ending. Very well done! Keep on writing!
Dragon Rider