Published April 10, 2009
LOOK WHAT YOU MAKE ME DO
Look what you make me do,
Fall head over heels.
I think I like to fall,
The funny way it feels.
When I look into your eyes,
and experience this fear.
This fear of losing you,
Even though your right here.
Just the sound of your voice,
Makes me shiver and blush.
Just a glance at your hands,
Makes me imagine your touch.
Your kind acts of importance,
Even though their meaningless.
Makes me like you more,
Makes me think I'm dreaming this.
Thought of your smile,
Your face,
Or you,
Makes me fall Head over heals,
Look What you make me do.
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140,900 Literary Works • 673,706 Reviews
Hey! Peanut here... here to review! *hero music plays in background*
Wrong version of 'your'... the correct way would be 'you're'... even though, for this poem, I would use 'you are'.
You capitalized words right in the middle of the sentence! Not grammatically correct... keep that in mind!
Makes me, makes me... I would try thinking of another beginning than that, at least for one of them!
Wrong version of 'their'... for this certain situation, it would be 'they're'... because it is they and are, so it is a conjunction! Sorry for the lesson in grammar, it's a habit.
You started both of these stanzas the same way, plus, you are saying 'makes me' again!!! Try changing it up a little, just so I don't feel like I'm repeating myself.
You start both lines in this stanza the same way. Again.
I liked this poem, except for the repetitions drove me insane! xD Try to change those fir me... pleeeease!
[spoiler]4/ 10... like I said, too many repetitions!
Oh, this was just lovely. I like the way we can all relate to it. It's the exact feeling of being in love or having a crush on someone. And the nice touch of it it: "Look what you made me do" at the end. I really like it when it goes in a circle like that and that sentence is just so... cute and innocent. I don't know how to describe it otherwise.
This is really nice. Well done!!
Love, Liz
Overall
I really like it it's very catchy and sweet a few things didn't flow but those are the things i corrected excellent job
i love the hook of this poem, "look what you made me do" its so cute and catchy. Explains the exact feelings of anyone who's had a crush! Puerto Rican! hahaha!