Hey! Peanut here... here to review! *hero music plays in background*
This fear of losing you,
Even though your right here.
Wrong version of 'your'... the correct way would be 'you're'... even though, for this poem, I would use 'you are'.
Makes me fall Head over heals,
Look What you make me do.
You capitalized words right in the middle of the sentence! Not grammatically correct... keep that in mind!
Makes me like you more,
Makes me think I'm dreaming this.
Makes me, makes me... I would try thinking of another beginning than that, at least for one of them!
Your kind acts of importance,
Even though their meaningless.
Wrong version of 'their'... for this certain situation, it would be 'they're'... because it is they and are, so it is a conjunction! Sorry for the lesson in grammar, it's a habit.
Just the sound of your voice,
Makes me shiver and blush.
Just a glance at your hands,
Makes me imagine your touch.
You started both of these stanzas the same way, plus, you are saying 'makes me' again!!! Try changing it up a little, just so I don't feel like I'm repeating myself.
Makes me like you more,
Makes me think I'm dreaming this.
You start both lines in this stanza the same way. Again.
I liked this poem, except for the repetitions drove me insane! xD Try to change those fir me... pleeeease!
[spoiler]4/ 10... like I said, too many repetitions!
Points: 5388
Reviews: 196
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