Published November 4, 2005
"Penny for your thoughts", I said to the young girl standing outside the market. I was in a fine mood, having just spent most of my paycheck on a few luxuries for the weekend. I happened to have a penny in change, and rolling it around in my fingers, I acted on a whim and offered to buy the girl's thoughts for one cent. Somewhat ragged in appearance, she seemed to be deep in thought. I thought it should be interesting to find out what could be on her mind on this chilly September day.
"Penny for your thoughts", I repeated amiably, still handling the coin. She jolted out of her reverie and the pensive face changed to an interested, but wary look at the copper in my hands.
Lifting her eyes to my face, she responded lightly, "I'm not s'posed to talk to strangers."
"Well then, I'll introduce myself. My name is Ashta Graves, and I have two boys, one dog, and five goldfish. I live on the corner by the church in town. I teach school and I am making a big pot of chili tonight. Now you tell me about yourself." I continued to smile and flip the coin.
The girl, who had hardly moved during my monologue, now licked her lips and began, "Yes ma'am. My name is Lottie Simms, and I have four brothers, two sisters, and a one-eyed, lame kitty. I live on the edge of town in a little three-room house. I don't go to school. Everyday I walk here to the market and try to get some money for my mama, 'cause we have to eat beans and bread every day, and the baby needs new clothes."
I began to be a little uncomfortable. I hadn't expected this, and her steady gaze during this quiet speech was more calm than mine as I listened.
She went on, "Some people treat me bad and say mean things. But some people will let me help carry packages and give me their coins. Them are the good days when I can take somethin home to Mama."
I swallowed hard as she let her eyes drop to the penny, now still in my clammy palm. Not knowing what to say, I simply held out my hand, offering it to her. She reached up to accept the charity, saying, "You said, 'Penny for your thoughts'. Well, ma'am, I was wishing for a penny. Thank you."
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141,249 Literary Works • 674,329 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: Hmm...the seems kinda of like an awkward and clunky tone that is a little overly formal but that doesn't in any way mean its bad its just different. And somehow for a story like that which lacks in emotion it actually manages to get across some great emotions. This one really surprised me.
Anyway let's get right to it,
The tone of the start is startling different from beginning to end. The line "penny for your thoughts" seems like a very casual and simple thing to say but then it goes full on serious and just a totally different tone is adopted.
Good advice there.
Okay that is definitely a very creepy intro. At this point I would be two blocks away and not looking back as I ran away as fast as I could.
And that sounds like a life description done in a kind of rushed way but it somehow matches the overall tone of this so that's fine.
Well that was not a very happy ending but then maybe it is. This story just sneaks up on you with the emotion with an ending like that.
Aaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall this one is a story I didn't expect to be good but it very pleasanly surprised me with that ending. A really nice short little piece. I really hope this Ashta lasy came to her senses and donated more than a penny because that's just a shameful amount right there. Great job with this story!
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
I really liked this. It was short and sweet, but it really struck me. Though Lottie didn't give much more than a brief description of her life, it felt as if I was getting a glimpse into her soul. That's difficult to do, especially in so little words, but you really hit the nail on the head there. My only complaint is that I was disappointed in the ending--that the woman hadn't helped the girl more than giving her a penny. I guess it's more true to today, though--most people don't want to be bugged with the poor, no matter how heartwrenching their story is.
Excellent job.