i'm just here for your entertainment, your fun. i also know that i'm not the only one.
you toy with many, play with some. i wonder how long it'll be before one of us is done.
will it be you, deciding you're bored with me? or will i take the first steps, setting myself free?
we both know something needs to change. i feel myself falling apart while we play these games.
you're getting older and branching out, while i'm left to lay here with my stitches coming out.
and while we go through the motions of pinning the blame, i know i'm just another player in this player's game.
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138,209 Literary Works • 672,084 Reviews
Hello,
I really like this poem because this is how it is in today's generation. People will just 'use' you or be your friend until they get 'bored' it's kind of sad is you think about it.
I really like that way you described it. How they're both playing and how he/she wonders who will leave first and who will be left the most broken.
This is Kaos here for a review.
Let's start off with the subtle rhyming in the poem. It's more apparent in some lines than others, such as this. The rhyming in the poem is weak and generally felt hard to notice that it was even there from a first read because of the way you did it. Some of the rhymes are in the same lines, and others are in two different lines. A good rule of thumb is to either be rhyming or to not rhyme at all, and if you are, have a rhyming scheme or pattern. For this poem, it doesn't particularly help the poem and rather feels like it would work better if you took it out.
The execution of the first line/lines was rather weak to me, but I like the idea. This poem has a lot of talking and a lack of imagery. There isn't any descriptions or metaphors and it makes the poem feel like it's empty of something. It's bare-boned. The imagery is like the flesh to your bone and it adds to how the poem is perceived and the style of it. Some of the lines in the lines/stanza feel kind of awkward with their wording in the second set of lines.
Another thing that I have to say about this is that the words "player" and "game" or any variation of them is frequent and repetitive in this poem. It's even in the title, which gets annoying to hear over and over again when the reader already knows the message of the poem in the first two lines. Mix up the words with synonyms or use something else instead of repeating yourself blatantly all the way until the end of the poem. This space could probably be used to describe the "player" in the poem with more detail.
I actually liked the first set of lines with this here and thought more of the poem should've been in this sort of style. It was simple, but resonated well with me because of the image that it left in my head. The second set of lines are more mediocre again going off again on about being a player in the player's game. I didn't know why it was "this player's game" as it felt awkward with that wording, but it was fine nonetheless.
That's all I had to say about the poem, hope this helped and have a great day.