The moon shown britghly above us all, but what little light it did give brought us no comfort. Howling peirced our ears, enough to make a man go mad.
The erie cries of the wolves were growing louder, closing in on us. They echoed around the hollow in the woods, still coming ever closer.
The men were terrified, that was easy to see, And who was I to judge them? I shared their fear. Then I saw the eyes, first just two,
then they were joined by more and more until we were surrounded by them. A snarl rang out, then another, then another. The entire clearing
rang with them. The first wolf leaped. One of the men swung a large pine branch out of fear--striking the wolf down. For a moment I thought it was dead,
but then it crawled to its paws and slunk back into the shadows. I signaled for the men to stay still and crept towards the fire. Slowly, I thrust my club into it.
The thick, dry wood lit instantly. I stood up and waved my new torch around in the air. The men did the same. Then, as if by a mirical, we saw the
eyes vanish. One by one, slowly at first. Soon, only a few remained. Still, I could not let my group fall into a false sense of security. I posted two gards
and went to get the dogs. Even before I got there I knew something was terribly wrong. There was no noise what-so-ever. I quickened my pace, dreading what I would find.
I had been right to worry. The dogs had vanished! It was no mystery where they had gone. The entire clearing showed that there had been a battle. The
ropes that had tied the dogs down where snapped. Chewed through more likely. The snow was covered in blood and so were the trunks of the pine trees. I
sighed and went back to camp, where I retold the tale of what I saw. Hopefully, the wolves would be full after a meal of our seven dogs and let us sleep. Late that
night I learned I had been terriblly mistaken. The howls had returned. I cursed under my breath when I saw the fire had gone out. I added more wood them broke off some
branches off from the nearby pines to make more torches. Sadly. the howls were not the only thing that had returned. The eyes rejoined us soon after I returned
with the wood. When we waved our torches they would draw back a bit, only to return moment later. They were learning. The wolves were getting braver too.
We would have to drive them back at times. I even had to kick out at one that had gotton a little too comfortable. Although they were only attacking one by one,
I knew we couldn't hold them off for long. I was right. Soon the pack was upon us. The mens' screams and shouts of terror reached my ears, and it felt as though
my heart had been eaten by one of the wolves--it would be soon, I already knew. I couldn't save them. They would never return to their families and friends. They would
never again see home. I shut that thought out and swung out with my club, striking a wolf across the jaw. I could not go down. To do so would mean sure death.
But I couldn't hold my ground for much longer. I sunk to my knees, then I was down. The wolves were at my flesh, I was being eaten alive. The last thing I saw
was a large wolf, looking into my eyes before it lunged for my face, fangs bloodied, eyes gleaming for blood.
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Hello,
This is a good story. I enjoyed reading it.
There are a few spelling mistakes. 'Erie' should be spelt 'eerie'. 'Mirical' should be spelt 'miracle'. 'Terriblly' should be spelt 'terribly'.
You used a full stop after the word 'sadly' but I think you meant to use a comma.
Otherwise you described everything really well. Maybe you could try to make it longer. You could try to explain who the people were, where they were and what they were doing there.
You have done a great job and I hope this helps.
Hi, I liked this a lot, the descriptions are great, It truly feels as if I were there. The way you wrote it gave me a sense of urgency, fearing for my life which is great. The ending was creepy being eaten alive, just wow it sounds so painful...
Overall, I did not notice any major errors but I did notice that miracle was spelled wrong.
It is a wonderful short story so keep up the awesome writing.
This work was very nicely descriptive, if the format was a bit weird. Just watch out for things like this:
-"fear--striking" should be " fear, striking"
-"what-so-ever" should be "whatsoever" (it's one word)
- the last sentence "fangs bloodied, eyes gleaming for blood" is very repetitive. Try rewording the sentence or using a synonym, like "blood lust"
Other than that, I like your short story very much. It was well-worded, even if they end was a bit predictable. It was easy for the reader to picture the scene and to put themselves in the situation. Good job overall, and keep writing
Your short story sounds amazing. It felt like I was actually there standing in the woods with the men frightened as hell fearing for my life. I think you have true talent. The amount of detail and description is well balanced (not too much to over bear not too little to confuse the reader)
On a scale od one to ten I would give it an 8 and a half.