Published August 6, 2011
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
138,931 Literary Works • 672,331 Reviews
Wow, this is so great! Not only the rythm and flow but the entire message and the way you delivered it. So very, very good. I'm at awe! You're structure and line-length was good, your imagery was great and your content was just... AMAZING! I can't wait to read more of your works! *clicks follow*
A big extra plus for making such a fantastic poem out of such a sore and sad topic
Hugs and Heart to the Missed Children of Norway!!
Good Luck & Keep Writing
// Demoness
Plastered doesn't really seem to be the right word here. It's kind of blunt sounding.
Great poem! You had pretty good flow and I loved your word structure! Any mistakes or parts you could make a little better/smoother is pointed out above in purple.
Good job with this Amelia
Keep writing,
Alzora
I understand why you wrote this and I can't really say I like that much. I mean, it's beautiful in it's unique way, but poetry that takes it's themes from "current events" gets a bit old and annoying. Much like the people who wrote poems/lyrics and so forth on this site about Harry Potter just because the last Harry Potter movie came out.
Also, the words "innocent" or "innocence" used to describe people you really don't know is a bit absurd. If these kids were infants or toddlers, then it wouldn't bother me so much. But these kids were teenagers and it's just too presumptous to say that because they died that they were all "innocent".
I think it was horrible that those kids died, but I'm not going to say they were innocent because they died. For all we know some of them could have been perverts or cat killers. We don't know any of them and in my opinion it's absurd to call them all innocent.
R.I.P
All who died
I loved this poem! (I didn't love what happened) I loved your choice of words, the imagery... everything in it. The emotions in this poem are the same emotions that we all felt, especially since they were teens like us... and it could've been us (if we were Norwegian).
Amazing Poem. Keep writing
Mac
This piece is beautiful and well written. The imagery and the way you arranged the words are what's best!!!! I enjoyed reading this!! Keep writing!! This was also a good topic choice, the title made me stop and read your poem!!