11/04/2020 2:31 a.m The Shadow comes lurching across the plains
Where has your America gone Walt Whitman?
What rough beast slouches now towards our capital?
Dragging the cursed dregs of society in his cacophonous wake,
Slogging waste deep through the mires of deceit.
What penance comes rapping now on our midnight door?
A reckoning has come to be sure
Two savages now, grapple in the widening gyre.
A victorless battle fought by its victims
Visions fill my mind, dancing specters of what could have been.
A choir of varied harmonies sings in my ears,
When did the melody collapse?
When did this war begin?
A specter of biblical proportions.
Here comes the beast crowned by the people,
Who flung that gilded door open for him?
A realization comes in with the dawn.
America, pay no attention to the bloodstains on my hands for they belong to all of us,
I did not open the door but sure as fate, I held the key
But for now, the clouds roll in blanketing the horizon in a deep red.
Five days later, hope comes in
Riding the white wings of democracy
A golden chariot leading into the harsh,
Blinding light of the morning sun
A creature newly crowned revels, hidden by the glow.
But alas, morning has come and despite it all, the horizon fills with light.
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Wow, as I was reading this I was just like "woah". This piece is astounding. I love when you said "Here comes the beast crowned by the people,
Who flung that gilded door open for him?
A realization comes in with the dawn." because it made me think of the storming of the capitol, and how little was done to stop it.
And when you said, "Five days later, hope comes in
Riding the white wings of democracy
A golden chariot leading into the harsh,
Blinding light of the morning sun" it reminded me of how it felt in the days leading up to Biden becoming the next president. Full of suspense, and hope for a better future.
I love what you've done with this
Chancing a review,
I don't much care for politics, but I like the bitter taste your poem leaves in my mouth, it reminds me of coffee. (Though I'll review it as if I'm not aware if it's political leaning.) The first part is very suspenseful, what beast what monster is lurching forth? Can we stop it? I like the disheartening feeling that washes over me as I read. I like the line:
"two savages now grapple"
(Just how you relate all this to politics I may not like politics, and we may not entirely agree, but that doesn't mean it wasn't a job well done. ) I love how everythings seems to lighten at the end, ah , the war is over and your side won ultimately, rejoice!
I see no grammatical flaws that couldn't be stylistic choice. I see no spelling errors. I like the juxtapositions of ' but alas' and "despite it all' before you use the words ' the horizon fills with light.' You did well, keep writing.
Much love,
Shadow.
<3333333
So when reading this, some people have had slight misconceptions, I want to point out the date it was written, this was written in reference to the pain wrought by the 45th president and the hypocrisy in the idea that the 46th may solve it all by tomorrow but the idea that nevertheless, there is hope.
It's perfect how I stumble across this poem on Inauguration Day. I think these words painted beautifully and accurately how we all have been feeling these past couple of months. I liked how it was worded like it is a war because even though it literally isn't, it still feels like one. I think this is a great historical piece!
Thank you so much! It's no coincidence, I planned to publish it today intentionally because as bleak as everything is and as much as everything cannot be fixed in a day we should have hope. I really appreciate your comment!
This poem is vey political, and I confess that I was worried it would be preachy nonsense. To my great delight, it wasn't! Instead, I got a beautiful, almost apocalyptically biblical series of images layered with meaning. I will choose to say nothing whatsoever about the meaning of the contents of this poem-your opinion is your opinion-but I suspect it is an exceptionally well written deepity: that is, it sounds deep, but really stems from a place of ignorance, much like the rantings of Kanye West, lol You are dealing with some massively complicated issues here, and you managed to deliver your ideals in a massively entertaining way! Thanks for the read!
Thank you for the compliments, despite what I assume are our differing political views, I do appreciate the review, and I'm glad you found it entertaining!
All that being said, I do want to point out that this poem was written about the 45th president, not Biden, just in case, there was confusion seeing as I posted this several months after it was written. I just want to make sure there wasn't confusion about that, thank you again for the kind review nevertheless.
Hiyo! this is a review for you amazing work! This is really well written and flows nicely. Its unique and Holds together well. Its worded well and I love that I can picture it while reading it. So thank you for sharing your work with the world of YWS. This was really good and Inspiring.
'A golden chariot leading into the harsh" had to have been my favorite line. It reminds me on the god Apollo for some odd reason. So thank you once again.
Thank you! This is so kind, I'm glad that you enjoyed it!