Young Writers Society

Hi! Here for a little review,

This poem is beautiful. I have never read anything like it. The way you have changed the style of the stanza and the style of thoughts is like a pleasant swirl of colours. I especially like how you start by being unsure about the questions and then determining to find answers and in the end you are perhaps sure about things though maybe not the answers of the same questions, that is how i have interpreted it. The fact that you have portrayed two scenes one of thoughts and the other one of wandering through your mind as if it were truly a street, i am absolutely mesmerized by that. The imagery, the flow and all the other working of your poem are really smooth and satisfying.

Before someone else does
Before someone steals the words from my throat from my tongue from the tip of my mind and
the tips of my toes these words are mine but I don't know what they mean or why they are,
I just know that they are mine and I
Have to find them before someone else says what I want to say, or worse yet
Says who I am before
I know better

And after all that I’ll be stuck with someone else’s sentences.
Someone else’s sentence for my life, my meaning, and my words.
And I can’t stomach the thought of that without feeling a little bit ill,
So I write like a madwoman in a trance all through the night, hoping against hope that somewhere
in this hazy delusion of noises and syllables that somewhere an idea will emerge-


And it will tell me who I am,
Who I’m supposed to be and why I couldn’t figure it out sooner.

First of all, I am new here so my review probably will not be of much literary use but I think that it's such a shame that no-one has noticed this lovely, lovely poem before.

The message here is beautifully clear and every word seems to be immaculately placed with lots of thought behind it. I love the use of these two sort of perspectives (the set of stanzas that are in italic and the set of stanzas that are not), I like how one of them is a metaphor whilst the other one truly shows the emotional struggle that is self-discovery. It especially shocks me how well these two perspectives are done, it adds to the story perfectly instead of clouding it up and making it confusing. Though I am probably too inexperienced to form a correct opinion on this, I absolutely love the rhythm used here. It adds yet another layer of emotion to the poem.

The only slightly nit-picky thing I can think of is that it doesn't really have a conclusion or an ending, but poetry does not actually need to include that so I don't know I can just feel my self being very picky here so I'll leave it at that.

Overall, I love this, I relate to this and it was very well executed!