Still.

Hey Amberla!

I know I shouldn’t, but I miss you still.
I know what I chose, but I long to hold you still.

The rhythm of the second line doesn’t quite fit with the first line. It’s too long. I don’t like the repetition of “still” either; it’s strong in the first line, but repeating it weakens the impact.

The decision I made… I thought was best.
“He will hurt you,” they said, much fear they expressed.

Not loving the ellipsis, and here it feels like you’re sacrificing clarity of language for a rhyme. “Much fear they expressed” sounds very awkward and unnatural.

No one could see that you took away my pain.
In a world full of crazy, your smile kept me sane.

Like this last line a lot, especially the bolded part.

If I took it all back, would you love me still?
When you claimed you loved me… was that ever real?

Again, the ellipsis feels unnecessary. A comma would do the same thing in a more subtle way. Having wacky punctuation (okay, an ellipsis isn’t really wacky, but its presence in a poem is odd enough for me to notice it) make the reader focus on that, rather than the language.

Even with all your faults, I really didn’t care.
Perhaps it’s because you saved me from despair.

The last line doesn’t run as smoothly as it could. If you read it out loud, you can tell that it doesn’t fit with the rhythm.

Everyone thinks that I was being naive.
But I knew what I was getting into, and I didn’t want to leave.

Again, I’m not sure your rhythm here fits.

I opened my heart, and I let you in. I know what I felt was real.
Even if you cannot see it, even if you don’t believe it, I’ll love you still.

This last couplet is very long when compared to the others, and the rhythm doesn’t fit at all.

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It feels like I was repeating myself a lot, so sorry about that. If you read this out loud, though, I think you’ll see where the rhythm needs tweaking. Try and find one rhythm and syllable-count-and-stress and keep with it, because what’s really lovely about reading poetry out loud is getting into that comfortable canter of rhythm. Here you didn’t have any fixed rhythm, which made it awkward to enjoy.

I’m not entirely sure on your subject either. The girl (I’m assuming the narrator is a girl) seems to have really liked the boy, but she broke it off with him. She blames other people throughout and says she knew what she was doing being with him, but if so, then why is she miserable now for breaking up?

PM me if you have any questions!

-twit