Published July 13, 2011
Do you remember? For years I tried to forget.
But I couldn’t give up, my heart said “Not yet.”
For years I pushed your memory aside.
Even believed my love for you had died.
It was easy, you were gone so long.
For years, the pain had made me strong.
No one knew; most my life was masked.
No one knew, and no one asked.
For years, you were ‘out of sight, out of mind.’
I may have been happy, but I sure was blind.
And then out of nowhere, you just returned.
Our past seemed forgotten, our lesson seemed learned.
Somehow, however, it wasn’t meant to be.
Because, before I knew it… once again you’d left me.
For how long this time, will the separation last?
Once again I’m waiting, reminded of our past.
This time, I can’t hate you, as I did before.
This time I’m too broken, my heart is too sore.
Instead of hatred, now it’s only pain.
And, for years to come, it will all be in vain.
Because this time, you won’t come back.
I know you too well; it’s a sister’s knack.
Deep down, I will always, always hope.
That you’ll come home and, that I can cope.
I’ve lost you once, and I’ve lost you twice.
Who knows, maybe next time, fate will be nice.
So, in my conclusion, sister dear…
Just know that I’ll be waiting, year, by year.
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139,319 Literary Works • 672,529 Reviews
A beautiful poem with a sad touch in the story. I like your non-cheesy rhyming and your alternation between quadrants and couplets. It give the poem a nice feel.
The story is well told and leaves me thinking about my own sister. This poem could be turned into a plot line for a story: A girl trying to get her sister back even though she doesn't know where her sister is.
Thank ya'll so much! I wrote this straight from the heart, so I'm glad that it seems to be well liked. It is based upon what I've been through, nothing was made up.. It's all just me.
Thanks again!
Amber
Aweome, no wait extroidanary! wait wait amazing! and did i mention exilerating!
you get the point i really like it
and it rocks and it's cool!!!
A well written poem this is:D It;s quite enjoyable as well, especially to see that there are people out there that go completely against what is said about some sisters. We can tell that you really care for her:D
Where is it that she goes, or was it completely made up is all I can wonder about this poem. It's difficult for me to tell when it's made up or if you're writing the things that are going on in your mind. Please ket me know:D ~C.C.
Meeee... Demoness here, I've come to give you a review... or sort of just adore you!
I'm truly speachless... I was too caught up and touched by this beautiful piece to find any mistakes so I had to go back as a reviewer and search for them with a looking-glass... but I truly couldn't find any. You're rhymes doesn't seem at all forced they just tie the whole thing together and makes the flow go on without any cuts and breaks. The stanzas were very well built and the content was just heart-to-soul amazing! You truly managed to deliver you message and well.. what can I say more than what I've already said.. hm.. I LOVE:d it.. xD
Good Luck & Keep Writing
//Demoness
I liked this, and the rhyming, for once, did not seem forced. There are few poems I've read today that were not using rhyming just as a "tool", yours is one of them.
Wide range of vocabulary, good punctuation, grammar... In the beginning, "for years I tried to forget"... that "for" requires a Perfect Tense, but I suppose you already know this.
Do you remember? For years I tried to forget.But I couldn’t give up, my heart said “Not yet.”
For years I pushed your memory aside.Even believed my love, for you had died. It was easy, you were gone so long. For years, the pain had made me strong.No one knew; most my life was masked.No one knew, and no one asked.For years, you were ‘out of sight, out of mind.’I may have been happy, but I sure was blind.And then out of nowhere, you just returned.Our past seemed forgotten, our lesson seemed learned.Somehow, however, it wasn’t meant to be.Because, before I knew it… once again you’d left me.For how long this time, will the separation last?Once again I’m waiting, reminded of our past.This time, I can’t hate you, as I did before.This time I’m too broken, my heart is too sore.Instead of hatred, now it’s only pain.And, for years to come, it will all be in vain. Because this time, you won’t come back. I know you too well; it’s a sister’s knack.Deep down, I will always, always hope.That you’ll come home and, that I can cope.I’ve lost you once, and I’ve lost you twice.Who knows, maybe next time, fate will be nice.So, in my conclusion, sister dear…Just know that I’ll be waiting, year, by year.
Ok so I tried to do that thing where you can bold out stuff but oh well. I'll just tell you what I think. I think you're poem was very sweet and heartfelt. At first I thought it was about a boy, which made me really connect to what you were saying, but once I realized it wasn't, it made even more sense. You're coping with the loss of you're sister. Not because she's dead but because she's not there for you. It's really sweet and I really enjoyed reading this. I like it the way it is.
One question.
Older or younger sibling?
This poem is well written and I enjoyed reading it. The rhyming was clever, not cheesy. I really like how you alternated between couplets and quadrants (I think that's what it's called) It was a good poem and I liked how not violent it was, I have been reading a lot of violent poetry. But it is a great poem and keep writing!