Tick tock, tick tock
There goes the needle of that old clock
Why must i look at it?
Everyday and every night
They say the past is the past
And to let it go
But wasn't it the future
A little while behind?
They say to look for the future
And to never stop
But won't it be the past
A few hours after?
Perhaps it's a straight line
One that never ends
But then that would mean
The past wasn't the future?
Perhaps it's a circle,
One that never ends
But then that would mean.
Death isnt the end!
Perhaps it's a coin
Whose edge we always travel
But then would mean
It's just a circle again?
Perhaps it's a box.
Four corners each
But with only 3
What is number 4?
Perhaps it's a maze,
One with no real shape
Ah that makes more sense!
But then
Why is a clock so perfect,
60 seconds, 60 minutes, 24 hours
Seems rather basic for such a maze
Is it not?
No then it can't be
Perhaps it is a grid
But if the lines are so straight
Why the circle of seasons then?
As
Perhaps it is triangle
Going from one corner to another
Perfect 3, yes works well
But again
Where is the maze?
Ah perhaps it is a web of all these shapes
Yes
That could be!
But tell me then
If you can
If anyone can rule time
If the past was the present and the future,
If the present is the future and the past
If the future will be the past and the present
Wait
Is my use of is,was and will even right?
If is isnt is,was wasnt was and will won't be willing
What does time even mean!?
Is my fate even written?!
If all I do and say meets the end
Why should I ever care?
If I am the one to pave it
Why shouldn't I know my options?
If I do something
I play into his hands
There isnt anything I can do!
But that's an decision as well!!
So it IS written?
But if I do something
Another will always change!
What does he want from me!?
Always slipping away,
We haven't a choice!
What sort of cruel fate is this?
Then if this is , or was , or will be or some unfathomable tense, the case...
The clock is just a hoax!
Grammar is a hoax!
But Then what in heaven's abode is the god of time rulling!?
Ok ok calm down,surely there's an explanation!
But tell me then,
Does the sun moves
Only for its duties sake?
Does the moon fade away
Only because it was told to?
Does the earth twirl in space?
Only because it can?
Does the North star come evey night
Only because it's already there?
Why does it move?
Why does it fade?
It knows nothing of what it affects.
If the great celestials themselves do not care,
Why does mankind?
Do the trees only grow
Only because it must?
Do the birds sing their songs
Only to find a mate?
They don't even have a clock
Yet they're so precise
Always bloom every spring
Always sing every early morning
Do they know what day and night is?
Or is all they see darkness or light?
Oh come on! Don't be absurd!
There is definitely an answer!
But then pray do tell,
Why do we care so much about time?
'Office starts at 9.'
'Party’s at 7.'
'Countdown for the New Year in 10—'
'My birthday’s on 16 September.'
Why must our existence be tied to a fantasy!
Born at 7:53 am,
Died at midnight.
Why is our every breath binded to an enigma!
Who planned the hoax?
Who dreamed the fantasy?
Who made the enigma?
Who is the God of Time,
If time itself is unknowable?
Who built his throne?
Who forged his crown?
Who placed it on his head?
If time itself doesn't mean anything,
What does Math
With all its numbers on a clock?
What does Science
With every observation on Time?
What does Language
Its first act being a calendar?
What is life?
What is death?
If it all depends on years?
What is joy?
What is sorrow?
If seen as days?
What is anger?
What is calm?
If measured by how long a silence lasts?
What is a pulse?
What is a breath?
If it is counted as an average?
What is a place?
What is a monument?
If measured by scale and distance?
Does that mean math is a hoax as well!?
What is speed?
What is force?
If measured by quantities?
Does that mean science is a hoax as well!?
What is knowledge?
What is intelligence?
If measured by marks and points!?"
Does that mean knowledge is a hoax as well!?
Who is the God of Time,
Or is he the God of Math or Science?
Who is he?
What is he?
Is he even real?!
Am I a hoax?..
What was my life, if not for time?
Everything I ever had was wrought of its lies
It stops for no one
Starts anew for no one
Then why should I care?
But there is still the question left unanswered
Who crowned the God of Time
Gave him the strings to pull
Gave him the game board
Gave him no end
Us.... It was us...
We crowned him
We made him
We ARE him
We.. i, my friends, my family, my ancestors, my fellow men and women
We are the God of Time
We are the primordial force who made him
All for what?!For what?!
Was it an attempt to control every aspect?
To understand something so strange and vast?
Was it a hunger for power or knowledge?
I do not know...
I don't think I ever truly will...
My my
How did I spiral down so low,
All from an old clock?
What is done is done,
Perhaps it shall be of use to me one day..
Well it's already 3 am
Time for bed i suppose...
- Amber Wright
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142,052 Literary Works • 676,488 Reviews
Hi! Rev here to review your poem today and get it out of the green room as part of the after-watch!
This poem is very interesting. You focus on one image, a ticking clock, and interrogate it. You refuse to let the reader settle into one metaphor before moving on, much like how time moves on before we are ready. I think that restlessness is more the theme of the poem than time itself. It paints a portrait of a mind caught in recursive doubt as it shifts from fun wordplay to real existential dread. I think the turn to the god of time is the strongest part, as it shifts it from some external complaint into something internal, which gives the poem real weight.
There are, however, a large number of rhetorical questions which flatten any impact that a few might have had. Some of the stanzas are very repetitive in their questioning and meanings. It just feels a bit overkill, and tightening these stanzas would preserve the impact! There is also over use of exclamation marks and question marks that make it a little less serious.
I think it would also be cool to have researched what time is, what math is, etc, and include something more scientific in here; we know they aren't hoaxes, but that doesn't mean we can't speculate!
A very interesting poem, Amber! Hope you share some more soon
Observations whilst reading:
I like this opening rhyme, but the rest of the poem doesn't seem to follow. I wonder if you might want to either change this, or have more rhyming couplets throughout. The rhyme gives more of a rhythm like a clock, so I think that would make the poem stronger!
Missing the apostrophe in isn't
I don't think this stanza is needed at all really, it just interupts the flow a little for me
I like these lines, but you're missing the space between is and was twice
These questions don't quite make grammatical sense. That might be your intention, but it threw me off
Keep writing! <3
I really enjoyed how this poem managed to make an everyday experience of watching a clock turn into an existential discussion of fate, time and man.
The evolution of shapes from lines, circles, coins, boxes, mazes, grids, and triangles perfectly illustrates the chaotic state of mind of the speaker, who attempts to find an answer to a possibly unanswerable question.
It is particularly nice how the poem questions the separation between past, present and future multiple times. The examples "If the past was the present and the future" and "If the future will be the past and the present" are very well-chosen to reflect the state of confusion of the speaker.
The fact that the answer to the question is the realization of "We crowned him / We made him / We ARE him" is also a great twist. Not only is there no God of Time, as the speaker had been looking for, but man created this concept itself along with its structure.
The fact that the poem does not stop with the topic of time itself is great too.
The speaker manages to ask about mathematics, science, language, knowledge, their own existence and many other topics. Thus, the end of the poem seems much bigger than the initial question of the clock.
The ending with "Well it's already 3 am / Time for bed i suppose..." is also nice since, after the huge philosophical spiral that occurred throughout the poem, the speaker has no choice but to go to bed.
I would suggest breaking some of the paragraphs into smaller ones and adding some punctuation marks in order to give each question some space. The growing chaos is fine but sometimes the large amount of questions makes it difficult to notice some particular ideas.
Overall, this seems to be a very ambitious philosophical poem. From just a clock to questioning the existence of time, knowledge, science, mathematics, language and existence itself.