A tangy citrus flavor it has
Colored with an orange pizazz
Found only in semitropical places
A bowl of them can brighten blank spaces
With one bite the orange bursts with juice
The taste is free and wild and loose
Energy surges from each sweet drop
When the orange you slice and cut and chop
Shining like an afternoon sun
The orange brings a feeling of light and fun
But don't eat the skin, bitter it tastes
For it will make your tongue like a land of waste
Zest the skin's called and is used in cakes
A tangy and sweet sensation it makes
But only if you cook it well
If not, you hurt your mouth as well
It is a golden sunny fruit
Looks like doubloons, a pirate's loot
A tangy citrus flavor it has
Colored with an orange pizazz.
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125,014 Literary Works • 672,845 Reviews
Wow I loved your poem! You made a poem about a fruit so interesting and fun!
One thing:
I really think that the "for" in the last line is not a good word here. The way you've worded it here makes it seem like: because your tongue feels like a land of waste, the skin is bitter.. or something like that anyway. I think "and" would be a better conjunction here.
Anyway, cool poem. I really enjoyed reading it!
-- Miss Ching
I don't believe that all poems need to have meaning. It was a nice reflection on oranges and i think it was an excellent poem having been written in middle school.
I couldn't even write that well when I was in middle school. I applaud your early growing writing skills.
The imagery is very sweet and honest. The lines really blended well
I liked these-
"A tangy citrus flavor it has
With one bite the orange bursts with juice
Energy surges from each sweet drop"
I agree that it didn't have much meaning, it was just kind of a flippant thing I wrote back when I was in middle school. But I thought it was cute, so I was wondering how it would fare if I posted it up here. Thanks for the review.
Ryllie
Hi there, Amaryllis! June here!
I think this poem was rather cute, but I think that you sacrificed the potential to have a good, strong meaning behind this for rhyme.
Your rhymes were nicely used, dear, but one of the most important things in poetry that can never be stressed enough is the importance of having a solid meaning to build upon. We understand that your foundation is oranges, but what is the main thing you want to tell us about them, dear?
If you notice, in your rhyming lines, you sometimes mention something totally new just to cover the rhyme for your next line. It's not a bad thing to do this, but often, to hold an audience's attention, it's better to sustain a consistent flow in both meaning in rhyme.
Aside from that, I did find your poem catchy and enjoyable. Very nice work, dear. Keep it up.
Juniper