If you wanted me gone, you could have just said so.
I loved you, and you know what? Just go.
I fell in love, albeit real slow.
But baby, right now?
That was just low.
The mark on my cheek is a stinging reminder,
That maybe some day I’ll meet someone kinder.
I sit here and wait because I fell in love, irrevocably in love with you.
And still, you hit me. And here I sit, waiting for my cue.
I should’ve known I was useless when you placed me aside.
You went after women, and I stupidly went along for the ride.
I thought you were different! Your bright eyes and smile,
But I should’ve known, nothing good for me lasts for more than just for a little while.
You kicked me and hit me, scolded and throttled,
I still stayed, keeping my emotions bottled.
I was warned that you’d hurt me, from my friends to my mother,
I said you were fine, perfect… Oh brother!
You left me to rot with no place to go.
I just hope that it isn’t me, in your anger you throw.
I am stuck here, unable to move or leave.
I know this will end, leaving my loved ones to grieve.
“I’m trapped! Let me out!”
I scream and I shout!
I cannot escape!
And there is no red cape!
There’s no hero to save me, no fairy tale ending,
This will only end with my nightmare and reality blending.
I know I should run, but where would I go?
Because all you would do was end it so slow.
So here I am, calling someone,
Help! Before he decides he’s done!
And I hope they come quickly,
Before he ends me.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,004 Literary Works • 672,794 Reviews
Hey, I thought this was a beautiful poem. I hope you're doing okay right now, because this poem really touched me and made me feel quite sad. I thought you described the pain really well and you used some great lines to express the emotions. Make sure you look over a couple of lines because about one or two just don't quite follow the rhythm and sound like they may be even better with one less syllable. I don't know if it's deliberate to make a couple of lines follow a different scheme, but all in all, the emotion of the poem is really well expressed. I've never been through this kind of thing myself, but I could get a pretty good understanding of it just from the clarity in your language. I loved it. Keep writing!
This is Spartan here, coming at you live from unsc headquarters.
Ok first let me just say whoever hit you is not a man they're a p***y and If they wanted to leave they shouldn't have hit you. I would gladly save you if I knew where you were cause I am p****d that he dares touch you like that.
Ok now for the review, first off I, as I said earlier, am p****d and wanting to find you and protect you from him. You write with such a way that it shows that you're ready to leave him and do so trust me if you leave you'll be a lot happier. Second you're hurting and people need to realise that you're another living breathing person like them.
If I could I would save you from him and keep you safe but I have no idea where you live. I am free to talk and give you advice on how to end it before he ends you and trust me if you really need help hit me up I got people everywhere that can help ranging from military to former gang members and even random people.
I really hope you are ok and have a good evening, morning, day, or night.
This is beautifully written, thank you so much for writing this and sharing it with us. I find no faults with this work of poetry and wish you good luck and hope you continue with writing. Keep up the good work!