Hey there Alora80972. It's just lizzy dropping by real quick, so without a further ado, let the reviewing begin.
1. The description said that this was going to be a novel about the retelling of Robin Hood. As I have now found out, your first chapter was going to serve as a place for your copyright warning. Seeing as this might turn people away and leave your work in the green room for a long time, I have decided to go ahead and review it as a different piece. I am going to treat this as a story about copyright just so that I can leave a review with some helpful information.
2. First we must cover the hard task of grammar, spelling and typos which includes the management of run-on sentences, like the one quoted below.
No part of this writing may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
-I would recommend putting the first break at the comma after "any means". It would change the first line to look like this.
No part of this writing may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means.
This would cut that separate thought off from the rest and give a better presentation. This means that you would usually just capitalize the "i" of "including" and get on with it but I believe that sentence needs to be reworded so all parts are compatible.
-I would personally change "including" to "This includes". This is because it now has to stand as a separate thought.
-I don't think you need another break. Here is the reworded and split up version.
No part of this writing may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means. This includes photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
There I fixed it and now it looks all pretty.
3. I found no other grammar, spelling, or typo mistakes so great job on proofreading.
4. Well that's about all I have for this review. I hope there is more to this story coming up soon. If you have any questions about this review or anything else for that matter, feel free to PM me anytime.
Have a nice day.
-lizzy
Points: 650
Reviews: 766
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