Draw Near To Me Chapter 3

OK, I don't have much to say. So here we go, I would let the story drag out more before he asks "Do you like me". I would want to see how the two MCs act together, let the friendship build more before he asks her. I mean, they haven't talked that much, so could he really like her that fast? I would let it drag out a couple more chapters, that way the readers could develope a bigger relationship with the MCs, then when he asks the "Do like me", it makes the reader go WHAT?
So I liked it all in all, but that is my thoughts.
Keep Writting

Chapter 3

Jason sat down and opened his mouth, about to say something when Garcia decided to start his lecture. I painfully turned my head to listen to Garcia’s lecture when I felt a sheet of paper hit my hand. I looked down to see Jason’s very neat print.

So what else did you do over Christmas Break? Besides missing me of course. As I read Jason’s note I looked over at him and saw him grin.

I picked up my pen and wrote, I didn’t miss you that much. Jason cast me a sidelong glance as I wrote that. Well, maybe I did, but I also had to baby-sit for a week and a half, so my mind was a little preoccupied. I also had to go to Houston and had to hang out with my slut of a cousin. How about you? I passed the paper back to Jason.

When he passed it back I read, I spent my whole time thinking about you.

I rolled my eyes at him. He took the paper back and wrote, What?

I took the paper and wrote, I’m supposed to believe that all you did for two weeks was miss me?

Jason looked at the paper and scribbled down, Well, my older brother and his wife came home, but seriously you were on my mind every day.

I finally had had enough, Jason why are you doing this?

Doing what? Jason wrote back.

Acting like you like me. I mean we barely said two words to each other. So what the crap is it all of a sudden?

Jason looked at the paper and wrote, Allie do you like me?

I just looked at the paper and slowly wrote, Do you like me?

Jason barely paused as he wrote, Yes I do. So now answer my question; do you like me?

I figured if he was being honest I might as well be too, Yes I do.

How long have you liked me?

You first.

Ok I’ve liked you since last year when we went to the Livestock Show in San Antonio. Maybe even before that.

Him mentioning San Antonio made my heart beat faster. We had spent the whole day together. It had been a blast. It was the day I truly fell for Jason.

*Our FFA group went to the Livestock Show in San Antonio to conduct school tours. We had to get in pairs of 3 or 4. I was in Jason and Alex’s group. After we finished touring I hung out with Jason and Alex. It was so much fun to hang out with them and for them to flirt with me and me flirting back. Jason and I became close that day.*

So how long have you liked me?

About as long. So if you liked me why didn’t you do anything?

I was trying to clear my head and think about everything. As I read that I remembered what I had heard about him and his ex-girlfriend Brandy and how she had broken his heart.

Jason took the paper back and wrote, Can I ask you something? All joking had left Jason’s face and he looked dead serious.

Sure I passed the paper back to him.

It seemed like an eternity before he passed the paper back to me. When he did there was apprehension on his face and six simple words on the paper. Will you go out with me?

Before I could even think about what to say the bell rang causing me to jump out of my skin.

Alright, so, I liked the first ending better. It shows how your MC is nervous, maybe even scared to answer. I liked that and I felt the emotion. Other then that, this was a cute little chapter. Your spelling and grammar was covered by the review above me. Other then that i'd say to have the notes in different fonts, not colours.

~WickedWonder

AllieMeadows wrote:Chapter 3

Jason sat down and opened his mouth comma about to say something when Garcia decided to start his lecture. I painfully turned my head to listen to Garcia’s lecture when I felt a sheet of paper hit my hand. I looked down to see Jason’s very neat print.

So what else did you do over Christmas Break? Besides missing me [color=#FF0000]comma of course.[/color] As I read Jason’s note comma I looked over at him and saw him grin.

I picked up my pen and wrote, I didn’t miss you that much. Jason cast me a sidelong glance as I wrote that. Well maybe I did but I also had to [color=#FF0000]babysit for a week and a half so my mind was a little preoccupied. I also had to go to Houston and had to hang out with my slut of a cousin. Wow, there's a way to call your cousin... Gotta love your family! How about you?[/color] I passed the paper back to Jason.

When he passed it back comma I read, I spent my whole time thinking about you.
I rolled my eyes at him. He took the paper back and wrote, What?

I took the paper and wrote, I’m supposed to believe that all you did for two weeks was miss me?

Jason looked at the paper and scribbled down, Well my older brother and his wife came home but seriously you were on my mind every day.

I finally had had enough, Jason why are you doing this?

Doing what? Jason wrote back.

Acting like you like me. I mean we barely said two words to each other. So what the crap is it all of a sudden.

Jason looked at the paper and wrote, Allie do you like me? I feel like this is going way to fast. I think she should be waiting for his answer, getting hopeful, or even frustrated... Maybe add some thoughts about what he's writing? Also, how can she see what he's writing before he passes it to her? Are they on a two place table? I don't know if you mentioned it before, but it got me confused...

I just looked at the paper and slowly wrote, Do you like me?

Jason barely paused as he wrote, Yes I do. So now answer my question; do you like me?

I figured if he was being honest I might as well be too, Yes I do.

How long have you liked me?

You first.

Ok [color=#FF0000]comma I’ve liked you since last year when we went to the Livestock Show in San Antonio. Maybe even before that.[/color]

Him mentioning San Antonio made my heart beat faster. We had spent the whole day together. It had been a blast. It was the day I truly fell for Jason.

*Our FFA ?? group went to the Livestock Show in San Antonio to conduct school tours. We had to get in pairs of 3 or 4. I was in Jason and Alex’s group. After we finished touring comma I hung out with Jason and Alex. It was so much fun to hang out with them and for them to flirt with me and me flirting back. Jason and I became close that day.*

So how long have you liked me?

About as long. So if you liked me [color=#FF0000]comma why didn’t you do anything?[/color]

I was trying to clear my head and think about everything. As I read that comma I remembered what I had heard about him and his ex-girlfriend comma Brandy comma and how she had broken his heart.

Jason took the paper back and wrote, Can I ask you something? All signs of joking had left Jason’s face and he looked dead serious.

Sure I passed the paper back to him.

It seemed like an eternity before he passed the paper back to me. When he did there was apprehension on his face and six simple words on the paper. Will you go out with me?

Before I could even think about what to say the bell rang comma causing me to jump out of my skin.

Here is an edit of Chapter 3. Cut out the last paragraph and add this:

All of a sudden everyone around us was getting up and walking out. I barely noticed all I could see was Jason. I looked deep into his eyes and said the only words that came to my mind, "yes of course I'll go out with you."

The biggest smile stretched across his face as he grabbed my hand and we walked out of Garcia's room.