Published August 22, 2011
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Canary word: Present
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138,403 Literary Works • 672,114 Reviews
Any suggestions on how to clear it up?
Oh my god. You scared ME to death. The line,
It's scary to think about death but you really had me mesmerized in the poem. I would say, splendid use of your mind. I liked it.
Hi there!
This poem is written very well. I found it very easy to read and it had a definite rhythm to it. Your imagery is great and you really get into the character's head, telling us their thoughts. I do agree with paintingtherain though, I am a little confused. I do know that this is a poem about death, but why? I can't tell if this was a spur of the moment thing or if it was planned all along.
Overall this is really good. Keep writing!
This is good, melodramatic in a good way. It was, however, a bit confusing. I can't tell if this is about a death that is so long and painful that you wish to be dead, or a suicide caused because of too many grief-filled thoughts. If you cleared that up, I think this poem could be great. Keep it up, and I hope that my review helps. Good luck.