Young Writers Society

I don't know, where would you be?

Sometimes I wish I could get the same deep meaning other people get from poetry.

A poetic epigram! Aka, couplets.

Couplets are like quotes for poetry. That is, they're quick snippets meant to quickly convey an idea in just two lines. Furthermore, they call attention to themselves through their rhythm and meter. Most of the time they rhyme. But not always.

To me, this couplet is conveying somewhat of an existential crisis. The speaker is falling back into a self-questioning question (I know there's a term for this, but I can't recall it). It's like an infinite loop with no satisfactory ending.

But I would expand upon it some. Unfortunately, the idea behind the couplet has already been used quite a lot in the past. You need to personalize it and make it your own. At the moment, the emotion is flat because it's very familiar. Breath some fire into it! That's difficult to do with couplets, but that's why writing them is so rewarding.

Hi there Aley!

To be frank, there's really not a whole lot here and the direction of it seems a little waywards. Personally, it feels like just two lines, with little thought to it. No matter how short or long a poem may be, there should always be a lot of consideration in how it will be shaped, vocabulary-wise as well as visually. I think this poem is lacking in both aspects.

It kind of reminds me of a proverb and quite cliche at that, too. But who am I to tell you what you can and cannot write? If you really want to have a punchy and intense poem in such a short space, you can do that with the right ideas.

First, let's start with the words. It actually doesn't make a lot of sense when you read it properly. For example, if this was just your average sentence, it would be like this:

Where would I be without who am I?

Where would I be without who I am?