Young Writers Society

Hello! RippleGylf here for a review.

I've never had a job interview, but this is very much how I would imagine it to be. You covey the anxiety of the situation very well, I think.

I would agree that the capitalization seems a bit sporadic. In poetry, it doesn't always matter, but I find it to be more effective when it is consistent.

Your punctuation also seems slightly off. Line breaks give pause when read mentally, but tend to be ignored when read aloud. Inserting commas where appropriate may help it flow better.

In line 4,

met not to be remembered.

This review courtesy of

This is Nikayla here dropping in for a review.

I'm almost certain that this is a set structure, and if so, what is it? If not, it sure seems as if it is. I found your capitalization to be pretty inconsistent in this piece, though I do suspect that this is you poking around with that. In the first couplet, the first line isn't capitalized. In the second couplet, the second isn't. In the third, both are, but in the fourth, both aren't. It seems quite intentional for you to do this, but I don't see the overarching benefit? It doesn't seem that necessary.

I'd also like to point out that in the third stanza, there's no period at the end of 'strangeness' which you'd want there since it's at the end of the second line in all the other stanzas. The flow here is pretty odd it seems, and I wanted to help out with that aspect. I believe in the first couplet, putting 'As' in front of 'an', and then putting a comma after 'interviewee'.

The flow is so different due to the word choice of the piece, which isn't what you'd normally see. A comma at the end of 'sake' in the second line would also benefit you, and if you did more of that, the piece would read more smoothly. The second stanza is one I quite like. I believe that you're subtly hinting to a goldfish in a bag, akin to the ones that you can win at a carnival.

Overall, adding punctuation to this piece is something you seemed a little hesitant on, but I believe it'll make it stronger. The first line of the second stanza could use a semicolon after it since the two clauses or lines can connect in that way. Same with the third stanza, which I also enjoyed.

Though at the same time, it could use a comma after the first line, and a period at the end of the second. The last couplet is a little bit confusing with its wording and I believe that you could clarify better, but that doesn't mean I exactly dislike it. I loved this poem for the subtle theme that you imbued, giving an interesting perspective on being interviewed for a job. Overall, solid and interesting piece and experimentation that you've done here, so nice work on that!

If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask! I hope I helped and have a great day.

This review courtesy of