Oh, my moonlit thief!
Till date, I blame you each day
For everything that went wrong
Dare you deny the accusations I lay
Oh, my moonlit thief!
How foolishly naive of me
I took you at your word
You claim- that you were
A fallen star, one that had burnt out
How could I have known the truth, though?
You shone in the night sky afterall
What I was unaware of
Was that you were a mere mirror
Reflecting my own light back at me
Tricking me into an unequal marriage
Oh, how I fell right in your trap
If only you had morals, and a heart
An opportunity to gain power for you
Costed me my entire reputation
Oh, my moonlit thief!
You certainly have a charm
Or rather, the ability to deceive
Convincing Earth that I'm a harm
That my rays burn skin and land
All the love, thus, you receive
Earth finds even your spots beautiful
But what about my efforts?
As all plants would perish
Without my light bountiful
If I'd leave, all life would vanish
I wonder forever
Why should I continue
To protect Earth
From cosmic radiations
If I'm to get no validation
But at the same time
How can I call Earth ungrateful
When my condition was much worse
Spellbound by you, a liar insatiable
Oh, my moonlit thief!
How I'll never forgive you
For conspiring with the stars
You exiled me from the sky! How could you?
But you should've known better, lover
I can't be held behind bars
I've broken free and stolen half time
Keep the dark night, you & your puny stars
I'll claim the bright day, as mine
What troubles me though
Is the company scarce
Despite all this,
I'll still choose to meet you again
My beloved moonlit thief
Because it wasn't just my light you stole
But also my fragile heart
I hate to do it
But I credit my life to you
Your love used to set me aflame
Now my hate for you keeps me burning
Oh, how ironic indeed!
Fate’s way of returning me
The light you stole
Whenever loneliness makes my head spin
I meet you at the eclipse hour
To feel something, even if it's hate
Of a love that once was
I'll avenge myself, still
Heed the warning, moonlit thief
I promise thy
I'll be the reason
Of your untimely demise
The day I die, you'll perish too
An eye for an eye
For my trust and perfect life
That you so brutally killed
Hai!! Z00KI3 here to leave a short review (comment?)!
Oh my heart! Will this love ever end happily?
The Sun finding out of the prophecy that the Earth told the Moon, has caused her to burn will anger. But, she admits that she cannot handle the loneliness and still meets Moon at eclipse. Even though her hate for the Moon burns constantly, she still loves him, because being a thief, he has stolen her heart, her fragile heart.
I also liked this one veryyyy much!!! It is so well written, and the love is still left to the unknown.. I hope you make another poem with the Sun and Moon, HOPEFULLY, they get their happy ever after! <33 (2nd poem review!)
<33
Thank you for the amazing review, Zooki3! I like how you interpret this as a sequel to the 'The Celestial Proposal', as I meant them as independent works and I didn't think they could even be taken related. But it's certainly interesting to see! I'm not that good with happy endings, so we'll see. I merely reflect reality, so the day their love truly triumphs I'm definitely penning it down. I do plan to write a sequel to this though, from the moon's POV to give the readers closure, though it won't be a lot different from this one. Thank you for your kind words, I'm so glad you liked this. I appreciate you giving this a read.
This was so beautiful to read, just like a cosmic tragedy!! I wanted to leave a review <3
Your repeated invocation, “Oh, my moonlit thief!” rings out like a chorus, a spell binding the poem together. Each return to that phrase deepens the sense of betrayal, like the Sun cannot help but call out her lost lover again and again. It feels ancient, mythic, as if the heavens themselves are on trial.
I love how you reimagine celestial truths as emotional truths. The Moon is revealed as “a mere mirror,” living only by borrowed light, while the Sun burns with a double flame, first of love, then of hate. The Earth, so easily charmed by the Moon’s false glow, becomes a silent witness, caught between devotion and deception. These layers transform science into story, orbit into heartbreak.
The imagery carries both grandeur and intimacy. Lines like “your love used to set me aflame / now my hate for you keeps me burning” capture the paradox of love and fury in one breath. And when you write of meeting at the eclipse hour, it feels both fated and forbidden, a lover’s tryst disguised as a cosmic alignment.
The ending has the force of prophecy. The Sun promises vengeance, but the promise is also tender, acknowledging the bond that cannot be severed. “The day I die, you’ll perish too”, not just a curse, but a truth of their entwined existence. It’s both terrifying and beautiful, as if love and destruction are destined to arrive together.
This is so much more than a story of betrayal; it’s a celestial ballad, a reminder that even the stars and planets might carry heartbreak in their cores. Thank you for giving voice to the heavens <3 Continue shining
OMG you described it sooo beautifully I'm in love with the method of expression!! Thank you so much for giving this a read dropping such a fabulous review. You really brought a wide smile on my face this early in the day, I'm very grateful
:') thank you so much!! I'm really glad I could bring more justice to your poetry in my review, you are an amazing writer!! I can't wait to read more from you.
OMG- EVERYONE. ALEX HAS BLESSED US AGAIN WITH BEAUTIFUL POETRY!!! Hello! Hop here with a review! Please- oh wait no. I am going to not say that since I have improved!!! But hii! Here is my review!!!
this poem feels like a slow burn (Hehe burn- get it?). not the kind that explodes but the kind that lingers. the idea of the moon being a mirror stealing light and stealing love... it’s painful in a way.
i liked how the speaker’s voice shifts through the poem. there’s anger, yeah, but also sadness, and even a little longing. I see little patterns of the sun going from burning hatred to sadness back to hatred. I don't know why but that's alluring.
the earth part was a nice touch. it made the sun feel even more isolated. doing all the work, getting none of the credit (Just like me and my little brother). it’s a good reminder that even the brightest things can feel invisible sometimes.
some lines were a little long, and a few words felt older than the rest of the poem (“thy,” “insatiable”), but i feel like that kinda made it better...
I do like the end as well. It kind of just abruptly stops. Not the type where it's bad, but the good kind if you get what i mean.
Okay, now I am so tired. It is almost midnight and I am still on YWS writing reviews. Good night. Keep up the good work and stay amazing.
Love,
Hop
Thanks again, Hop! You really are on spree, I'm impressed
It's gonna be enough to best us thoughGlad you took my advice to heart, yes you really don't need to say it you're reviews are great. And yes, I get the it burns part XD. I used the old words to remind the reader that this is indeed a timeless story, taking place from long ago around the time of origin of the Sun and moon. The abrupt end was also intentional, to suggest the story ain't over and the Sun continues to struggles the consequences of the backstab by the moon. Also, I was planning to make a sequel to this from the moon's POV, making sometime in the future. Thank you again for giving this a read and dropping another amazing review!Time for me to get ahead of you while you rest mwhahaha evil laughUh I meant it's not gonna be.. I've officially done too much reviewing my senses are hazy lol
It's okay if you are just realizing aliens already won
Ughhhh.. not you using a slip of tongue against me ToT
Hi! I'm leaving a comment this time. Short and sweet
To start off, this is SO CREATIVE! I personally love your poems, and you could totally be a professional. You give good reviews and advice too, by the way! I think this poem is very original, because I have never seen anything like it, unique! I feel like it can turn into a song, don't you think? The sun talks about his pains, his love, his happiness, and a vow at the end; so good! Happy Writing, my friend!
Sincerely,
CATS
Oop. found out that the sun is a girl?
Thank you for another endearing comment, CATS! I don't know about being a professional, but you're awfully kind. And I try my best to help out other writers and poets in their journey with my reviews, so it's a great compliment to hear they're appreciated. Now that you mention it, I do see how it could be turned into a song! Unfortunately I'm not an expert in songwriting to turn it into one myself, maybe some other time. Yes, I meant the Sun as a female character here while the moon gas a masculine energy, I felt it conveyed the pains of betrays better if presented from a feminine narrative. Thanks again, it's always great to hear that someone liked my work.
No problem! I'm glad that you liked it! You are really good at writing poems...I don't know how to write them lol