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138,327 Literary Works • 672,102 Reviews
hello!!! it’s catsz here to leave a quick review!! let’s dive into it!!
aww the title is so heartwarming!!! i love it, it’s simple and. eye catching and fun!
the poem gets straight to the point. they. are. ADORABLE. The imagery and description of their fluffy feathers and small feet are soooo cute.
it’s so sad how the mother doesn’t really care about the egg after the hatching. but don’t worry little chick, you can come over here ToT
the chick prancing around is adorable.
WHAT
U WOULD EAT HIM
WHAT
u are so cruel and mean ToT
leave the poor chick alone ToT
if you are to have him you must sign a contract not to eat him because he’s just a baby
overall this poem is lighthearted and sweet (UHM AT FURST) and then it lands dark with the poor chick turned into a chicken nugget…
happy writing and reviewing!!
~catsz
Haha I missed these. Thank you for all the specific compliments, CATS. Lol that outraged reaction on the plot twist- I'll take it as a positive sign that I managed to write it as riveting as that. Thanks for the review!
Don't tell anyone that I forgot to put this on the Google Sheet =D
Shhh, I will rectify the error and immediately review it instead XD
I love how you describe baby cheeks as fuzzy balls of gold :3
Hm I think that absent-mindedly might not quite fit the rhythm...
Also what do you mean by that the seed is static? Unmoving, no longer capable of changing/life? Or is it rly just in relation to the next line: the easist prey is the one who does not move? XD
Oh wow the second to last line really makes the final one really a gut punch, huh? XD
Thanks for sharing Alex, very cute poem!
Absent-mindedly contradicting the rhythm sounds like a very valid concern, I'll be sure to look into that. The static seed was in relation to the next line, you guessed it right. Thanks for the review!
Hi, Dragon here to review this short poem.
This is a little short for my usual review style but I will leave my comments on in nonetheless.
My first comment after reading is, Dang! That ending completely caught me off guard!
I was not expecting such a conclusion to a wholesome and contemplative poem. Though, reading it with the ending in mind the tone becomes way different. I think this is a great thing. If the goal of poems (and writing in general) is to elicit emotions from readers you nailed that.
The first part of the poem is a beautiful, almost innocent story of a baby chick taking its first steps into the world. It created a beautiful picture in my head and got me invested right away.
The part about eating a seed because you have to start somewhere leaned into the childlike feeling right till the end, which made the turn around all the more shocking, so good job there.
I'm not sure if this is ok as far as the grammar of poems goes, but there were no periods or commas to show where one sentence/idea ended and the next began. Some ideas spanned multiple lines while others, only one. This made me unsure so I thought I'd point it out.
I don't really have any other criticisms, so well done.
May blazing dragon-fire light your path and ignite the flames of your inspiration.
The bit about the lack of punctuation is a very right argument, thanks for your helpful feedback. I'm glad you were able to enjoy reading this.