Hello! DragonNoir here for a review!
I think this is very deep and effective, but I'm really confused about the message. I know implicit messages show one's great ability to write, but if something is made too implicit then the reader has no idea of what's going on. You go from a quite cheerful, memory-like scene, to something extremely deep in the space of a few lines, which I like, but all I can really make out is that someone who the narrator held close to their heart died, but the narrator doesn't seem to like them anymore.
Also, I managed to notice a small error:
"of something. That was once human." If this was used for effect, I understand this, but I'd use a comma instead, or I'd just not put anything there in the first place. You essentially split a sentence in half and, in my opinion, it doesn't help the poems flow.
On a more positive note, your vocabulary is very impressive and gives the reader a lot to think about, for example when you say: "our foreign fingers".
Overall, a good poem, but the message seems too implicit (at least I think so).
Points: 350
Reviews: 84
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