Ferrin grasped his spear in anger, so hard that his nails started to hurt.
"Relax, man" slender girl covered in jaguar's fur whistled. "You are always so angry."
"How can I not be? Look at the mountain Jeeva. Look at what they had done to it." He pointed a finger towards a quarry, far away. It was abandoned some time ago, leaving only scarred land behind.
"This is probably a tenth quarry we had seen. You just always get too upset", she said, in vain. Jeeva knew she could do nothing to reach him now, when he was overcome by emotions. She had sometimes wished he could redirect them at her instead.
"We are late again", Ferrin gazed into the sky. "They know they are being hunted, so they are not sitting in place for so long anymore."
"They are afraid of us", she agreed. "Lets hurry. Kaid and the others should be waiting for us."
She turned to run, but he suddenly grapsed her wrist. "I wish you had seen the spirits angered, Jeeva. Then you wouldn't think I'm crazy anymore."
Their eyes met for a moment before he let her go, and so they ran.
Poor Ferrin... At first, she was against letting him join the group, but he could control the essences just too well. Even now, he is amazing fighter, second only to Kaid. They had to endure his insanity, as long as he can kill some of the shapers for them.
Soon they had reached the clearing where the group of six people was waiting.
"The place is empty", Ferrin yelled while still on the run. Some men of the group looked at him distrustfully, since he was still too enraged. And after all, that spear he carried...
Suddenly, Kaid took a stance. Someone was near. Everyone knew what happens when Kaid takes fighting stance. There is something dangerous around, be it giant redfur bear, shapers, or the raging spirits themselves.
Her body shivered like always while watching Kaid embracing his essence. Wolf fur cloak he wore suddenly stiffened, claws clenching over his fists. Giant head of an Ironspine wolf came to life, resting on his shoulder and growling, it's eyes glowing silver.
Nobody knew how Kaid had slain Ironspine wolf, nor how he could acquire it's essence. She had never heard anyone else took it in. Ferrin might have been outstanding, but compared to him, Kaid was completely out of this world.
The others had their essences ready as well, taking in the spirits of bears and wolves; they even had one tiger, and her, a jaguar essence.
Ferrin lowered down, one hand in the dirt while almost laying his spear to the ground, holding it aside. Once shapers had found their position thanks to over two meters tall weapon. Ferrin was using deer and rabbit essences. Everyone else opted for predator essences, since they needed to kill themselves, and they had no weapons. Their kind had never dared to wear a shaped object, but Ferrin was insane enough to carry it. Even after seeing what he saw.
A shaper was moving towards them. He was not trying to hide his pressence, and he seemed to be alone. His body, covered in silver reflected sunlight into her eyes. Flail was crashing branches behind him, digging a trail into the ground.
He had already embraced the essence. Is he seriously planning to take them all alone?
"We run" Kaid whispered, exchanging looks with the approaching man. Everyone seemed a bit surprised, but no one disagreed. Everyone turned to escape, waiting for the command.
"No", Ferrin simply said, and then he moved. His powerful stomps thundered while he was flying straight towards shaper. That fool! We can't beat a man with mountain essence!
But also this was a fight between a spear and a flail in the middle of a forest. Both of these should be terrible anywhere aside the open field. That might be the only chance Ferrin had.
The group waited. It was his own decision to abandon an order. The rest will stand and watch him kill or be killed.
He sprung with a forceful leap. Spear crackled out of tension, straining; she hated that sound. Shaper didn't move to dodge. Instead, he whipped the giant flail like it was a rope. It was Ferrin now who had to dodge or be crushed; he redirected spear to the ground, and bounced to the side just enough. If it was anyone else, even Kaid, he would have been dead. Shaper's attack was too fast.
Ferrin's disadvantage is too large. Not only the weapon of his enemy outranges him, but even if he hits, he might not pierce his skin. The essence of mountain is not meant to be tamed. This was never supposed to happen.
"If we die, don't keep fighting. Just run", Kaid suddenly whispered. Before anyone could talk, he ran towards the enemy too.
Why? Why would Kaid risk everything to save Ferrin? He abandoned orders on his own behalf! He knew that he was alone in this...
Silver shaper didn't seem to care too much about the other man running at him. Why isn't he scared? He must have heard at least something about the terror Kaid had wreaked upon other shapers.
As soon as Kaid was in range, he whipped his flail horizontally and hit. That threw the man away five or six meters, but didn't seem to hurt him much. Kaid didn't try to block and instead let the weapon's force carry him, soaking only a bit of damage.
Ferrin took the chance, and attacked with his spear while the flail was busy. It seemed like it would hit, but Silver stepped aside in the last moment. Spear flew under his armpit and he grabbed it, keeping it in place. He seemed surpise though, as he couldn't lift it with Ferrin holding it.
Actually, he couldn't move it a single bit.
It was when Ferrin took in the black bear essence. He was not only holding three essences at a time, but he mixed a beast and it's prey. Only few men in history were able to do such a thing, and it was almost as amazing as what Kaid was doing.
On the other side, a wolf-coated man was charging at the Silver too. That man knew that if he let the spear go, Ferrin is gonna get him. He also had only one chance to hit Kaid; if he misses, he's dead.
Instead, he swung towards Ferrin. He was the one also kept in place; he had to let go off his spear, something he would rarely do, at times even holding it in his sleep.
That swung gave Kaid an opening, but it was just a bait. Silver leaned backwards and let the flail run, making a full circle around his body, going straight towards Kaid.
This time, he will take in the full hit.
Kaid blocked with his right arm. The flail broke through the iron fur and bones, as well as his strenghtened body, and crushed his arm. But there it stopped, and Kaid managed to make a contact.
And once his hand makes a grasp, it will never let go.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Hello Alchemist! CHRISSY321 here with a review!



*Happy Review Day!*
Okay, tis was a pretty interesting and cool story! There are a few fixes though! Here they are- hope this helps! :
" "This is probably a tenth quarry we had seen. You just always get too upset", she said, in vain. "
Instead of 'a tenth' I think you meant 'the tenth' it sounds better, and makes sense!/ Remember when to use a 'a' or 'the' ! This is something important to remember!
I did not see any other fixes other that that! That is a good sign in a good writer! Yay!
Overall this story was one-of-a-kind, and very unique! I like it when people do their own thing! That take a very good and strong writer! I think that this story was sort of confusing at part too though. Are that all animals? Humans? This is what I was wondering while I read this. I was also a little curious about the essence. It was sort of okay to understand- but not completely! (but then again I have only read this part or your story!) Hope this review help! Keep writing!
Clickdun here :3 Let's talk about your story...
Before we get into anything major, let's get a quick bonus stage out of the way! This one is called: how much intentionally vague "they's" can we work into the story while simultaneously making the dialogue stiff so the reader knows exactly what you're doing?
ROUND 1:
Wait what? Who're the they? Are they the bad guys?! They must be!
Round 2:
Wait a minute, that seems a bit contrived. I think this is trying to pull me in without me wanting to!
I was going to include a third round, but you get the point.
Anyway, to make all of the dialogue seem less stiff try adding this cute little fella here: ' look at him! He's so cute and tiny and harmless!
So, in this case, try changing "they are" to they're.
See how much less stiff it is?
Other than that I don't have any complaints.
I did love the magic system, it's nothing new, but it's very cool and feels well done. I wouldn't compare it to the great magic systems like Rothfuss's Sympathy or Sanderson's Allomancy, but I do think it's well done.
And, speaking well done, great story. I loved it and think that, given work, it could be a better story.
Write on!
~Lord Clickdun
Hello, tnx for the review!

I'm glad magic system seems fine so far. It is definitely something I've only scratched so far, but I think I've shown the basics here.
And yeah, that allomancy... is just perfect. *puts coin on the ground and pushes away*
Hmm, a coinshot are you?
I've always thought of myself as a pewterarm.
that was great i liked it the story sucked me in and was interesting to the end. iwould love to know what happens to them the battle was told greatly but it was all battle and no plot to me. i like the beginning where it was talking about the quarry and how ferrin was mad at the harm that became the land
Tnx for the feedback