Young Writers Society

Hey there, I just wanted to leave a real quick review on this amazing piece of writing!

I really enjoyed your poem, especially because of the rhyming. Personally, I don't come across poems which rhyme in nearly every line very often, but it worked really well for your description which focuses on restlessness and repetitiveness. Your constant rhyme and rhythm helped convey the tone and made it pretty relatable to read.

The countdown of time structured your poem and showed a progression which eventually lead to an end point. On top of that, it may also resonate with your readers' own experience of desperately checking the time and making ourselves aware that it's running out when we're trying to fall asleep

Lastly, your ending was really strong and gave a sense of surrendering and helplessness, which is again very realistic. Good job on maintaining the relatability throughout!

Hope to read more from you soon~

Hello!
This poem focuses on a night that many can relate to, to where one cannot fall asleep but the reason why is unclear. Which is usually the case for many. Stress, anxiety, nervousness, but the reason behind why is unanswered. The inclusion of monsters and the devil may answer the question of why the speaker cannot sleep. Mentioning the "devils hour" gives a sense of ominousity and fear.
The rhyming is simplistic and isn't forced. It flows extremely well; capturing the idea of the mind rapidly thinking. This is said as so:
"my head is spinning
thinking and thinking
monsters keep bugging"
And finally, the ending. The poem comes to a close by the alarm clock, and the speaker getting ready to go to school. They brush off the fact that they couldn't sleep and just go on with life, thinking no more than is needed. It's a relatable momen; despite not sleeping, routine is still in order. Some things need to be done.
The final lines,
"the monsters, my school
when will my life be cool?"
These may symbolize the connection between school causing a person to not sleep. And then wondering when their life will come to peace.

Approved by the Corn Dog Enthusiasts Association (CDEA)

Hello, I hope you're having a wonderful day! I'm here to leave a quick review on this lovely poem of yours.

First impression: I'm a sucker for poems that rhyme, and this was a joy to read. The rhyming flows very well; it doesn't seem forced at all, and it sounds natural.

Moving on, I like the way that you've structured the poem. From midnight to 6 am, you go through each hour a steady pace, without rushing. I also noticed that each hour represents a different emotion or thought going through the narrator's mind. "0:00" is about the serenity as the narrator falls asleep. But as the poem progresses, the words become more desperate and scared. Until finally, the poem ends with the start of the school day, and it feels very bittersweet.

Overall, I enjoyed reading your work very much!

Hello! This is a random weirdo here to bring you a short review.

Sorry if this is too short. I'm incredibly tired today (though not in the same way as the character in this, I assume).

At first glance, this is an incredible poem, and I was really touched by it. The different hours and the way the character describes each one is excellently done.

However, in my opinion, I feel like some (though not all) of the rhymes are forced. But it's rare, and doesn't really take anything from the value of the poem, so I don't think anything's worth changing.

This poem is very well written, and very relatable to most. I think I like the verses 4:00 and 5:00 best, but honestly they're all so good.

Thanks for writing this, and have a nice day/night! (and if it's night, I wish you luck on getting enough sleep)

Dropping by for a quick review!

First Impression:
I like how this poem had its ups and downs. One thing I noticed was the style of your rhymes and it honestly helps set the beat and mood and tone of the poem.

Actual Review:

it's zero o'clock,

no disturbance, no knock

time to dream on and on

as my reality fades out gone

as the time is ticking,

my head is spinning

thinking and thinking

monsters keep bugging

the devil by my window

haunting and taunting

its horns and thorn's shadows

is appearing while the thunder's banging

it's the devil's hour

where my buds are bitter and sour

because of strange fear

as my eyes start to tear

it's four o'clock,

my foot starts to sweat in my sock

the scarecrows are fading away

the best hour to sleep, but it's nearly day

it's to rest, i gotta rest now

the sky is pink and orange

so beautiful, yet so strange

my eyes are wide awake, wow

my alarm rings and dings,

no time for dreaming, no happy endings

got to go to school now

hey, you've got good sleep, teach me how

that's my body clock's system

is it me or is it them?

the monsters, my school

when will my life be cool?