Published May 6, 2008
I feel stretched, stretched across your field of view
I feel bent, bent like the mighty yew
I hear your calling, from across the distant shore
You never speak, you never adore
You came to me, if you remember
Back in the gloomy days of September
No hope there was back then
I was told to never love again
You heard about my demise in a school of cries
And only now do you realize that you forgot all the goodbyes
You should have thought sooner, that all would end
No more interference, with the painful mend...
No words shall play
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141,261 Literary Works • 674,331 Reviews
Hey, welcome to YWS!
I just have to say that "only now do you realise" sounds a little weird, but that's just one thing.
Very nice job here. Have you read/written much poetry? If you have, post it here - I'd like to read more!
The rhyming works, it's not awkward like in some poems I have read here. The first stanza is my favourite
I liked this.
All the love from
Demeter
I like this [even though I couldn't fully grasp what it was about.] The rhyme scheme, to me, seems to work. I like the effect of the repetition too.