Achelois

I like this! Sort of a myth about how the moon came to came out at night, yes? Plus a little bit of the phases with "darkness swallowed her light" and "Nyx spat her back" and "this cycle continued on."

Either that or I'm backwards and the moon is the jealous mother and the sun and it's rising and setting are what the poem is about. But the first is what I actually thought while reading it.

There are just a few things - I know some Greek mythology, so I wasn't thrown off by "Nyx" and "Hypnos," but even so it seemed a bit random - since at the beginning you just called Hypnos "Sleep," for example, the Greek element seemed a tad random. So my suggestion for that would just be to introduce the Greek element earlier in the poem to keep things consistent.

I was also a little confused with the part about punishment. I understood the bit about "Sleep's jealous mother" - sort of a Snow White-Evil Queen thing, with Sleep's mother unable to stand competition for "fairest in the land," I assume this was the sun but I'm not positive - are you saying that the phases of the moon are the moon's punishment? That was unclear.

But otherwise, you've got some great imagery, and this was a lovely narrative!

~Blue