As I set down the controller,
the screen flashing 'GAME OVER',
I look to my kitten, sleeping so peacefully.
Io doesn't have a care in the world,
and I envy her for that.
But, then again, her life must be boring.
She's confined to the house,
not allowed to go outside.
Eating the same bland food every day.
It's the same for my other cats.
Gobie, lying around in the sunlight.
Fredo, blending into the shadows with his dark fur.
I pick up the controller again,
pressing 'RESTART'.
I don't have time to dwell on my cats.
I have a boss to beat,
in the land of pixels
and swords.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hey there, am Arpan Ekka here to a short review.
The poem commenced brilliantly, and the narration has quite a nice flow.
The game ends, the person looks to her cats and tries to adore it, but then returns to the game.
I find it ironical that the person says that cat's life must be boring, meanwhile he himself is trapped in the world of Videogames and thus forgets to adore, or even notice anything else around him.
Wonderful.....
Keep writing and flourishing.
Hey Abriatis!
I really enjoyed your poem! I love cats, so it was super cool to read about your cats and their personalities.
I wanted to point out that I really loved the first two lines of your poem-
“As I set down the controller
The screen flashing ‘GAME OVER’”
I was instantly drawn towards your poem, and immediately wanted to read more. The rhyming here is spot on! That leads me to my next point...
You have some really great rhyming there, and I would consider bringing some of that into the other sections of poem. It doesn’t need to turn into everything rhyming and sing-songey, but rhymes can really help out the flow of a poem.
I also really loved the ending of your poem, and how it related back to your gaming.
To wrap it up, I loved your poem, and your cats sound wonderful. Keep writing!
-Riles
Nice poem. Also I totally feel you. I'm stuck on this part in FE Awakening...