I possess an overwhelming knowledge –
Painful clamor of gratitude meanwhile ringing in my ears –
That no royal family of ancient origin can ever surpass the ancestry from which I came.
No coveted prince, voice accented in golden brown,
Can exceed the value I know I possess,
For the Episcopal blood of his existence is not so old,
Nor so taxed and tried,
As that which allows me not merely to exist, as my forefathers were forced to do,
But to live,
Free spirited and vivacious,
Though with an eggshell heart,
Cracked by observing the sorrowful song of today,
Smashed by remembering yesterday’s dissonance,
But never broken.
No – never broken,
For I exude confidence
And hold vanity in high esteem.
Idealist images circulate, perpetuate notions of perfection,
Honey-colored and warm in the summer,
Yet I refuse to be categorized,
Sorted into straightforward cabinets,
Metal, constricted, emitting a sharp bang when shut,
Emanating through a solemn room,
Permeating its plastic silence
With the disembodied remnants of something that was happy once.
I refuse to be directed, to be told which way to go,
Because “beauty is truth” and I am the truest thing I know,
Truer than misplaced values
Or words intended to sound a different way.
And it is this truth which allows me to convey
The softness of a summer night
Or the musky smell of a still life.
It is this truth that lies within jumbled up senses
And lets me immortalize phrases
With the loops and curves of a pen.
Through words, I elicit the feelings vital to live –
As my forefathers have not done, but I am going to do.
Hey Abigail! I'm Katie and will be reviewing you're...wonderfull poem today.
This was very interesting, to be honest. I really got the vibe about the royalty and about the truth. Very, very good topic to write on, too!
I like how you kept the emotion locked, and very into the poem, though sometimes you have to do even more of that - like you have - to make the work even better for the reader! The way you processed each line in each stanza made the poem easier to think about as well, not finding one word out of place. Honestly, I'm horribel at writing poems and stick with novels, so if I say something wrong in here -which I rarely do...but everyone makes mistakes, right?- Then feel free to notify me ebout it, alright?
In this stanza-
This one was intirely different from the others. The punctuation, I mean. One line it would be blank, and then a period whereas in the others they're was comma's.
Overall, this was very good, though. Good detail and topic. Keep writing!
~Katie
Hi Katie, thanks a lot for the review!
Hello, Abigail! My name's Rosie, and I'm going to review this piece.
Overall, this is an amazing piece of work. It's clear that you're able to masterfully utilize your extensive vocabulary; I love when I read something and pick up a few new words along the way. You've managed to include plenty of vibrant words without having your work come off feeling wordy or overworked, and that's not easy to do. Thumbs up for that.
"Truer than misplaced values
or words intended to sound a different way.
And it is this truth which allows me to convey
the softness of a summer night
or the musky smell of a still life.
It is this truth that lies within jumbled up senses
and lets me immortalize phrases
with the loops and curves of a pen.
Through words, I elicit the feelings vital to live –
as my forefathers have not done, but I am going to do."
This is gorgeous. I did have one minor nitpick with it, and that's the fact that you've capitalized the beginning of every line of this poem; I am not personally a fan of such capitalization and prefer to have lines capitalized only when they are the beginning of a sentence or in other situations where capitalization is grammatically appropriate. However, there are many varying opinions on this subject; the one I've shared with you is merely my own, and if you like your poem the way it is, please feel free to keep it precisely the way it is.
There isn't much for me to correct with this poem. It's a beautiful piece of work with depth, and I would love to read more poetry like this from you in the future. Always keep writing!
-Rosie
Hi Rosie! Thank you so much for the wonderful review. To be honest, I'm not a fan of the capitalization either, but I can't figure out how to get Microsoft Word to stop doing it anyway. I might go back and make some of those letters lowercased, but then there's the fact that I'm lazy...
Thanks once again!