z
  • Home

Young Writers Society


16+ Language

EARLY HOPE

by ATOM


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

When they run,

the in old,

lovers of the crying man own

for if own the soon,

never mind you're jailed in prison my son by wrong.

west to east,

brighter burning fading say

though I REALISED to pray,

heaven is dead for none on risk 

as to fix 

dignity denies and racism born.

Then I VIEW it ,

it obeys the face it realizes next along todays and two days earning nice

war against themselves 

best I can,

to better itself 

 resist,

lovely holy them and then

ending of story begins

EARLY HOPE

                       next to you

complete ! due to remains, few to you


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
91 Reviews

Points: 11387
Reviews: 91

Donate
Sat Jun 08, 2024 2:50 pm
goodolnoah wrote a review...



Image

Hello there, one of King Koopa’s loyal henchmen, here!

I don’t usually write reviews for poems so I hope this comes out okay!

I love how the spacing and word choice of this poem takes me on a journey. Spacing, whether or not a word is capitalized, etc all seem to matter! There is a lot of text in here that implies dichotomy. Perhaps speaking about how silly it is that so many humans hate each other while we are all just the same on the inside. Just my interpretation! (•ᴗ<˶)✧₊ ⊹




User avatar
68 Reviews

Points: 6727
Reviews: 68

Donate
Fri Jun 07, 2024 10:15 pm
Coffeewriter wrote a review...



Hey, this is Coffee dropping by to leave a warm review to soothe your aching bones!
First of all, I love how short and simple this is, straight to the point yet not lacking in description. Great job on that! The vocabulary is very complex and the terminology and context used is quite mature and interesting.
The use of modern day problems was not something I expected to read honestly.
I particularly loved the line:

“ it obeys the face it realizes next along todays and two days earning nice

war against themselves “

I honestly, don’t understand all of this, it seems like typos to me, that’s how ‘complex’ the terminology used is! I won’t deny that! I love this particular like because I like the way it’s worded and it’s quite deep and almost philosophical!
“war against themselves”

This line really struck deep because it can be interpreted in many ways and it’s the most relatable line I found! Overall, I’m so impressed( or maybe I’m just being overly clear that I have a long way to go at writing skills) and I hope you’re proud of yourself! Have a good day/night and thank you so much for reading!





Hail Hydra
— Stan Lee