Published July 17, 2010
This one time,
I will give in
to him.
The past that binds me,
The lust that blinds me,
I will give in,
To the passion that haunts me,
To the wishes that fill me.
This one time,
Tonight, I will let go,
Of everything else,
And be his once more
Trapped in his embrace.
Until this one time,
meets me again.
hope you enjoy,
please comment!
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,497 Literary Works • 674,536 Reviews
Hiya! I'm gonna have to aggre with Mizzle on this one. The punctuation was kind of off. However, this poem is just so cute! "The past that binds me/The lust that blinds me," is brilliant. I could also see this poem as a song. Also, I'm not crazy about the font centering, but then again, that's just me. Nice work!
Hi there, ARBY367! ^__^
Well, I don't really like your punctuation, I will say that. You use mostly commas and therefore barely end your sentences. This bothers me. Still, nice job.
-Mizz-
I thought this was good and different. I'm glad you used the colour to, it looks cool in my opinion haha. The flow if it kinda was weird at one point, but other than that I thought this was written well =) keep up the good work, and I hope I get to read more
Thanks(:
mmmmmmmmm.......this was short yet really sweet and I liked it. Usually people makes their poems long when talking about romance and love but you kept it short and in control. Not bad