I'm missing you already
And we haven't even said goodbye
I hope it’s not truly goodbye
When we say it
As you smile
I’m missing the smile on your face
So I catch it and save it for later
Though I hope later never comes
Will it?
I miss all this hoping and apprehension
As I feel it
This feels like nostalgia for the now
We’re joking around
And I’m missing my laughter
As I laugh
So it makes me laugh some more
Please make me laugh some more
I wish to laugh forever more
I wish change would change its course
And that the present won’t be taken from me
I’m missing you by my side
Even though you’re right beside me
I’m missing you already But I don’t want to miss the moment
Missing what I won’t have soon
Make me miss the fact that goodbye is near
Make me forget it, and enjoy this time with you.
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139,566 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
Once again, I love your poem! This is such a sweet and slightly sad love story. I really like how you were missing things that were presently happening; it gave this a deep twang of familiarity. I wonder how many people have felt like that. I know I have. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful poem.
The poem speaks of missing someone even before goodbyes have been said, with some time remaining till the narrator and the other person described in the poem part with each other. I have read a lot of similar poems about the 'parting moments' but this poem had a different tone to it. The narrator, although crushed by the truth, values what time is still left, and that's what I liked about this poem.
and
This description really creates a strong effect, far stronger than the usual 'I'll miss my laughter' and 'I'll miss your smile'
This ending goes beyond just concluding the poem, I loved it. I'd definitely like to read more of your work.
keep writing!
Thank you! You really got what I was trying to express through this poem. Happy you liked it, I'm looking forward to posting more.
Hi there!
SlushySlapped here to review your poem!
My first thought after reading this poem was wishing it had more emotion. Maybe it's just me, but this is a poem about saying goodbye. Goodbye is such a difficult thing to do, for most people, at least. It involves a lot of, well, apprehension, as you've named the poem. Really reach inside and draw those feelings out.
Now, I'm no expert on poetry and you have every right to disregard what I'm about to say, and what I have said. You are the author. I, personally, am big on punctuation. It can really add something to your poem.
Like in this line:
"Please make me laugh some more
I wish to laugh forever more"
Well, what if you added a couple of commas and a period?
"Please, make me laugh some more,
I wish to laugh forever more."
But, like I said, that's just me. A lot of people don't use punctuation the way I do in their poems. It just all depends on you.
Overall this is a nice poem, but I think it could be better. This is something someone has told me before, and I'm passing it onto you. Work on it, play with it, experiment!
If you do and want an opinion, I'd love for you to message it to me!
Keep writing!
Yes I tend to get lazy with punctuation in poetry when I'm just scribbling it in my notebook. But maybe if I start typing it up & posting online I should put some consideration into it. Thanks!
*Accidentally submitted.. sigh*
Nice poem! xD
Haha it's ok! I accidentally submitted a comment on here & just edited it to say first submission blah blah blah.
The first poem that comes to my mind when reading this is Browning's "The Last Ride"....It is kind of similar to it...A request of love not to leave and go...quite touching...
Just some advice regarding the structure of your poem...
The first line
"I'm missing you already
And we haven't
even said goodbye
I hope it’s
not truly goodbye
When we say it"
You can play with the words here, but you let that go...I know you preferred it this way, but I would have changed it into somewhat like this-
"Missing you already
Didn't even say goodbye
I hope when we say it
It will all be a lie"
You don't have to make it a direct statement like as in a novel...The essence of poetry for me is that you can break down words and forego grammar and yet beautifully express what you want to say...Play with words is what i call it...
Another line,
"Make me miss the
fact that goodbyes are near"
why don't you just make it "goodbye is near".....Personifying goodbye can be good...It will wrap within itself all that you will miss...and you can also indirectly refer to your lover through it...It will be for me a good imagery..Your lover (goodbye) is approaching you and you know this is the end...Lovely picture indeed!!! think about it...
That suggestion for the first stanza is brilliant! Those aren't my words so I feel a little cheap just stealing them from you. But I will definitely change goodbyes to singular. Funny how a little change like that personalizes everything more <3
Thank you, what wonderful advice!
First submission! Enjoy & critique!