I feel lumps and bumps
Fleshy pinches
Overflowing folds
Thighs that glance
Cheeks that spread
Breasts that jiggle
Dimples when I squeeze.
I fear and fear and fear.
The food I stuff in and in
Fearing, fearing , fearing
Guilt guilt guilt.
I run from the scales, afraid.
I pass by the jeans.
Afraid.
I starve and eat and starve and eat.
Telling myself,
Itll be different this time,
Like last year.
Il refrain completely,
Feel more and more bones appearing.
My happiness and character diminishing.
Satisfaction increasing,
But my need following.
Just one more goal, just one less meal.
And I’ll be there.
And then I binge
And I fear
And I fear
And I feel the fat.
And I see the magazines.
And I hate myself
And I hate myself
And I hate myself.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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I thought the emotion given to the situation was powerful and understandlable. Overall it was good. It was strong in stating the sitution a lot of overweight teenagers are in, but otherwise nothing much to say, at least, not for me.
Don't hate yourself! This poem echoes ideas in the early twenty-first century that the fashion industry in conjunction with glossy magazines, pushed an impossible view of the human body. I think you captured that well although I would have given this a higher rating perhaps 14+ or 12+, just because of the imagery and subject matter. Very explicit at times but I can understand the scenario you are trying to illustrate.
Sincerely,
-Elitehusky