The Early Bird; Not a freaking Senryu(that's for Karzkin ;)

Hey, Yeti!

Your haiku was cute. xD I liked it! I'm one of those people who tend to wake up earlier than others, so it made me giggle. 'Cause I'm really not sure why I do it! xD

I read Karzkin's article he linked, and you seemed to fit most of the points he made. It's very helpful though, and you might find it interesting if you hadn't read it/edited yet. There were plenty of specifics, and while I don't have any other source to base my opinions on, you may be inspired when writing more Haiku!

There was one bit I was confused about, and that is why the worm has to be awaaake. In fact, I think that's better for the bird, in which case, wake up early everyday! You're guaranteed a worm! Unless that was the point you were trying to make. o: In which case, yay!

But I still liked it. Something about Haikus make me smile. You certainly directed your theme toward nature and had a meaning underneath it all, and you even did the two-sentences idea that Krazkin mentioned in his article. So well done there! I hope to see more from you.

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!

This is short and the meaning is clear. Nice!

look, karzkin.. i edited the title JUST for you.

This is a nice little thought, and well communicated, but this is not a haiku. Read this or message me for more details.

K.

Hi there! One thing about posting haiku: while you may do so, by all means, it's often better to post them in a group or collection if you want thorough reviews. Obviously, it's a little hard to give you a good review of three short lines.


So, as there's not really anything special to fix here, I'll just tell you my thoughts. This was a good haiku, I think. The point of haiku is to be simple but still say something. You did this. The ability to capture the feeling of melancholy in three lines is a task few can accomplish well- I think you did it.

Anyway, keep writing poetry! You seem to have a talent for it.

-ToritheMonster

Ah, I remeber haikus. We had to do a couple in school. They really challenge the imagination with their limitations. I like this one. Short and sweet yet the message is conveyed clearly. You did a really great job!

Thanks. lol.. it was kind of inspired by me having to wake up early this morning.. and i got to thinking(which is NEVER a good thing :p).. that's when I realized how stupid this idiom is. haha Anyway, thanks for the review.

Oh, how I miss haikus. This was really good. And it was really melancholy feeling. Poor bird =\ Well done!