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E - Everyone

Yin Yang - The Beginning

by ABarros


I’m the light

The pure and kind

The one who cares

The guardian angel of your life

~

Here

In heaven

We all smile

And guide you

To the right path

~

Here is warm…

~

I’m the darkness

The scary and hateful

The one who doesn’t care

About you at all

~

I’m the devil

~

Here

In hell

We are cursed

And will swallow you up whole

Into this infinitely dark hole

~

Here is deeply hot and cold…

~

We are one

We are apart

The two lost parts of our lives

We’re Yin Yang

Different but one

We could all get along

Body and Soul

~

We are one

We are apart

The two lost parts of our lives

We’re Yin Yang

Different but one

We could all get along

We are you…

~

We’re dark and light…

~

I’m the happiest

I’m the gentlest

The one who loves you…

~

Here

In heaven

The day is bright

The sun shines

In that slight blue sky

~

I’m the most dangerous

I’m the most disastrous

The one who hates you the most

~

Here

In hell

The night is cold

But the flames are boiling us out through…

The ground

~

I look down

Down…

To that different world…

~

I look up

Up to that white shiny small hole…

Is that world…

~

We are one

We are apart

The two lost parts of our lives

We’re Yin Yang

Different but one

We could all get along

Body and Soul

~

We are you…

~

Walking down these heavenly secure stairs

Walking up these hellish and falling broken stairs

~

Going down to that world

Going up through this hole

~

And ascend…

And descend…

~

To Earth

~

We are one

We are apart

The two lost parts of our lives

We’re Yin Yang

Different but one

We’re now together

As one

~

Now we are one…

~

We are one

We are apart

The two lost parts of our lives

We’re Yin Yang

Different but one

We’re now together

As one…

~

As Body and Soul… 


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293 Reviews


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Reviews: 293

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Sun Aug 03, 2014 7:47 pm
BrumalHunter wrote a review...



Image
Fiery Salutations


Right from the beginning, I like the fact that you chose a meaningful topic for your lyrics - so many people choose to write love songs or motivational songs nowadays, and though I do not have anything against those particular types of songs, they are being overused, and let me tell you, not all of them are written and/or performed satisfyingly.

The only problem I have with reviewing lyrics on YWS, is that they are only the lyrics. What makes a song popular is partly due to the words, because a song with a message is always stronger, but it is not always required - as many examples of today's popular music have showed. No, for a song to be popular, the harmony and the rhythm must complement the melody, but underestimating these aspects would be disasterous, for often they make what would otherwise have been a cacophony, a very popular hit. This is why I shan't be referring to these during my review.


Here is warm…

I like your first two verses, but I think it is smart of you to make the third a single line. Obviously it will be emphasised in the song itself, but here, it also indicates change.

Into this infinity dark hole

I understand what you had meant with the underlined word, but when used incorrectly, it ruins your imagery, so instead of using a noun, use an adjective: "infinitely dark"

Here is freaking hot and cold…

Is freaking really the best adverb of which you could think? Rather change it to something more appropriate; when writing about such a serious topic, you must try to use more sophisticated vocabulary.

We are one

We are apart

The two lost parts of our lives

We’re Yin Yang

Different but one

We could all get along

Body and Soul

~

We are one

We are apart

The two lost parts of our lives

We’re Yin Yang

Different but one

We could all get along

We are you…

A chorus - yay!

Into that slight blue sky

Firstly, the adjective into should be in, and secondly, the shade of blue which refers to the sky is known as azure.

Walking up these hell and falling broken stairs

hell should be hellish.


I very much like your lyrics. It is a refreshing read, and I find it highly inspirational. Well done, and I hope to hear these over the radio one day.

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Image




ABarros says...


Hi hi James. I corrected the mistakes you found. About the adverb "freaking" I wanted the devil part to be a bit rude but I changed it to "deeply". I think it's a good adverb because when we think of Hell usually a place deep under the planet appeares in our mind. What do you think about it?
By the way, thank you for enjoying these lyrics! :D



BrumalHunter says...


Yes, your replacement is much better.



ABarros says...


Thank you :D



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15 Reviews


Points: 512
Reviews: 15

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Sat Aug 02, 2014 10:34 pm
Pinkieishere1345 wrote a review...



Hi, ABarros. This is Pinkieishere1345 here. I like to review this work of yours as I tried my best on it.

I have to say this...well, you did an amazing job on this in your first day! Are you sure you need to be improve on this site? Because this song, it seems more like you don't need any improvement on here. I enjoyed the rhymes of this song. It really flows while I read it. You made an amazing piece of art in this site! :D You are great song-writer! I hope to read more from you. Well, see you next time.

Good Job!

Love,

Pinkieishere1345




ABarros says...


Thank you! I will update more songs, don't worry :D I'm happy you liked my work.



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223 Reviews


Points: 282
Reviews: 223

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Sat Aug 02, 2014 10:14 pm
Kelpies wrote a review...



Hello ABarros!

Looks like this might be your first published work on here, and it's excellent! I can imagine it as a song, I like how you transition, in such a way that they blend into each other. In the way you write it, they really are one and the same. I can't wait to see more of your work!

~Kelpies.

P.S. If you have any questions about YWS feel free to ask! I don't mind.




ABarros says...


Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed this poem/song. I appreciate your help. Thank you again!




In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
— Robert Frost