Young Writers Society

Right from the beginning, I like the fact that you chose a meaningful topic for your lyrics - so many people choose to write love songs or motivational songs nowadays, and though I do not have anything against those particular types of songs, they are being overused, and let me tell you, not all of them are written and/or performed satisfyingly.

The only problem I have with reviewing lyrics on YWS, is that they are only the lyrics. What makes a song popular is partly due to the words, because a song with a message is always stronger, but it is not always required - as many examples of today's popular music have showed. No, for a song to be popular, the harmony and the rhythm must complement the melody, but underestimating these aspects would be disasterous, for often they make what would otherwise have been a cacophony, a very popular hit. This is why I shan't be referring to these during my review.

Here is warm…

I like your first two verses, but I think it is smart of you to make the third a single line. Obviously it will be emphasised in the song itself, but here, it also indicates change.

Into this infinity dark hole

I understand what you had meant with the underlined word, but when used incorrectly, it ruins your imagery, so instead of using a noun, use an adjective: "infinitely dark"

Here is freaking hot and cold…

Is freaking really the best adverb of which you could think? Rather change it to something more appropriate; when writing about such a serious topic, you must try to use more sophisticated vocabulary.

We are one

We are apart

The two lost parts of our lives

We’re Yin Yang

Different but one

We could all get along

Body and Soul

~

We are one

We are apart

The two lost parts of our lives

We’re Yin Yang

Different but one

We could all get along

We are you…

A chorus - yay!

Into that slight blue sky

Firstly, the adjective into should be in, and secondly, the shade of blue which refers to the sky is known as azure.

Walking up these hell and falling broken stairs

hell should be hellish.


I very much like your lyrics. It is a refreshing read, and I find it highly inspirational. Well done, and I hope to hear these over the radio one day.