Night

hello hello hello!

So firstly, I think there's some special things going on in this piece. It's a very...storytelling poem. So much so that you could honestly turn this into some sort of short story piece or few paragraphs. In that sense, the format can be confusing to the reader.

I can definitely see a sense of rhyme and rhythm, (which isn't necessary, just pointing it out that I'm sure you as the poet decided it to be this way). And I like some of your word choices. However, if I'd suggest any few things to improve on, it would be a better sense of punctuation and sectioning for this poem. I'd like to see it broken into stanzas of some kind, and especially find a smoother, easier punctuation style that's read-aloud-able and simply flowing when reading to yourself as well. That's probably the biggest thing hindering the connection between me as a reader and this piece.

You have a good start! Hope I helped a little

Keep writing!

you love to stay in the night for adventures; a mixture of fear and excitement that gives you thrills you are looking for. the night air caresses your skin like a ribbon...so soothing and comforting yet running away from a demon chasing you... i imagine you fearful yet smiling running far; where at last you got away because of some help... but that didn't end your thrill-seeking feeling... and still you continued..
i hope i hit the nail..

Ooooh! That beginning though! Magnificent, I just want to say it captivated me right away (oh little bit of a rhyme because this is a poem review )

Next, a couple little nitpicks I saw while reading. I'm not sure if you meant to do this, or if you just didn't see the mistakes, but:

"is body blends with the night"

I think it's either supposed to be "its body blends with the night" or "his body blends with the night"

Also, you end a lot of sentences (or whatever they're called in poetry) with "night", and it got a little repetitive.

But as a whole this was actually really good! I very much enjoyed reading it, and i think you're very skilled with poetry

Keep writing!

~Anna Rae

Hey,

Right off the bat SQUEE SUPERNATURAL! I have been waiting for a supernatural poem for way to long. Now that I think about it I don't see why I didn't just write one, like wow. Anyway I love this poem. I can't see a lot of nitpicks but here's what I found.

here i stand (I should be capitalized)

the chosen (T should be capitalized)

i am running (I should be capitalized)

trustingly i took it (Again capitalize your I)

Okay, I'm done. Not with errors but with pointing them out. What do you have against the letter I? Why must you ignore its capitalization rule! There is also some missing punctuation, but I cant even right now let along point out more errors. I also kinda feel like you could have had a wider vocabulary use in this poem. You used I statements a lot and it creates this feeling of repetition that really makes me wish you had used something else. Otherwise great poem! Keep up the good work!
Sincerely,
Collideascope.

Thank you all for the feedback I have gone through and fixed the errors i have made. Thank you for taking the time to read my poem.