Young Writers Society

Hi, here with a review. First of all I really like your letter to your best friend and I also like the fact that many people can relate to it. I really like how you've used a rhyming scheme;it gives this letter a flow to it. I liked how you've used rhetorical questions at the beginning. Overall, I really enjoyed reading it. Keep writing!

I can relate to this piece.

I moved from America to Ireland about three years ago, and I also had no say in the matter as I was 14. When I left, I kept up a long distance relationship with the boy who was my best friend for almost three years, but I was the one who ended it. Honestly I don't know how I would have coped if it wasn't for him. He definitely got me through a tough time, but I felt as though it was time to move on.

I really liked this piece of yours because my relationship ended less than two months ago (as I ended it when I was visiting my hometown so it could be in person), and I often wonder how he's doing. Ugh I cringe to think of him in the emotional state of the narrator you described, but life moves on and so did we.

Long distance relationships are incredibly difficult, and I know from experience moving can sometimes feel like you've lost literally everything. Not to sound cheesy or rehearsed, but it taught me that while I left so much behind, there was so many new adventures ahead. I really liked your letter because it reminded me of how I felt in the early days of leaving, and made me appreciate how far I've come.

To dissect the actual writing of the piece, I'm going to be nitpicky about "eachother" because it's two words. And since this is a letter you cleverly decided to "tell" much more than "show" because, well, that's what a letter is about- telling your feelings to someone.

I particularly liked the closing:
"Someone who still cares for you"
That was what really tugged on my heartstrings, probably because I still care so much for the boy I left behind.

To improve this piece I'd make it longer to add some more dimensions to the narrator and the situation. The piece was a little flat and underdeveloped but that was merely because it was so short. I felt an emotional connection with the narrator because of my personal experience, but for someone who can't relate to this situation, it would be difficult to connect with or care for the narrator. The reader needs a chance to get to know the narrator and the characters and relate to them before they become interested in the character's emotional problems.

Overall I thought this was a good piece, and I look forward to seeing more of your work in the future.