(A/N so I'm currently working on another idea for a novel about a girl who discovers her father is a disgraced ex-singer from a band that was famous in the late 80s/90s and in the story this is one of their most popular songs. It's meant to be kind of indie or punk style, or maybe a little like the Smiths. If I get the time over the summer I may record a version of it.)
Antiquated man
And as you slammed your fists against my door
I realised that I was surely meant for more
An antiquated man in a changing world
Who was surely meant for more, for more
Living and breathing yesterday, anachronism
Believing comes hard to those in atheism
It’s all moving too rapidly for a man like me
I find myself lost deep in alcoholism
And as you slammed your head against my door
I realised that I was sinking deeper into the floor
An antiquated man in a changing world
Who was surely meant for more, for more
I can’t help scraping my knees when I fall
Why do you make me feel aneurysmal?
Everything is changing but I’m stuck fast
Sucked in by some black wormhole
I was surely meant for more than this
I was surely never meant for this
I was surely meant for more than this
I was surely never meant for this
And as you slammed your body against my door
I realised that you were rotten to the core
An antiquated man in a changing world
Who was surely meant for more, for more
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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
It was nice poem. I think you should proofread. I'm not good with that also. The category is off. It is not a romance. There are also many words besides "more."
Poems normally don't repeat the same words. A Thesaurus can help with that. if you practice more it would be better.
Keep writing! practice makes perfect!
~S.M.Locke~
Thank you for the review
These are actually song lyrics, rather than a poem, which is why there is a lot of repetitive language 
Hi 4revgreen. I here for a short review.
1) I really love your poem, with amazing discribtive words. And I quite like the smith style.
2)You keep on spelling "realize" wrongly. You wrote "realised", so I suggestion you fixed it. I got bit confused on reading it with a misspell words.
3) I think you keep on using "more" in the poem. But can you use other words? Peoms usually has lot of synonyms. So maybe you should change it.
4)I don't really understand why you put this poem in romance. So you should check it again. If I'm the one who didn't notice, please do tell me.
5)Lastly, I'm sure there are other words that has same meaning with surely. You might want to change it, so you don't repeat one words too much.
Overall, wonderful poem.
Thank you
Keep on writing
>Lim June
Hi there. Realised is actually spelt right. In England we spell it with an S
and 'surely'
It's actually a song, not a poem, which is why I used 'More' a lot
It's in romance because it's about breaking up with someone, which would be considered a romance song despite being about falling out of love.
Thank you for the review