Published February 21, 2011
I looked into her eyes and wrapped my arms
around her waist. I was hundreds of feet in the air.
She came in closer to me and locked her hands
together behind my neck, and I kissed her.
Her breath was warm. I was ready to jump.
Her passionate, wet lips moved as she brought her body
closer to mine. I jumped off of the lift.
The snowflakes hit our faces and melted as we
breathed and kissed our last kiss.
I was in midair, ready to land on the slope.
I kissed her neck, and she touched her lips to
my cheek before pushing me away slightly.
My skiis brushed against the snow as I
made contact with the mountain. She caught me.
She smiled, and her beautiful eyes told me
something that she didn't have to say.
She loved me, too.
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140,862 Literary Works • 673,695 Reviews
Very nice. I loved the parallel throughout the whole story. It really kept my attention! I also noticed the grammer edit of changing "his" to "hit" but that was already pointed out. I would love to read more of your work!
Keep writing
-Kayde
This was a very cute poem. I really like the metaphor you used. It kept me wanting to read. I wanted to know if he hit the slope or if you added a twist , like him falling and the relationship turning sour (Sorry I'm a cynic hahaha) . But anyways there was only one mistake I found grammar wise:
I'm sure you meant hit . Just a typoWell apart from that everything was good. Just try to work a little more on your poems flow and repition
Great Job, Keep on writing ! -Imaignemymind
This was a very nice, cute and simple poem
I enjoyed reading it and I like how you kept saying how you were feeling. The anticipation of being ready to jump and then almost jumping and then, and then finally you jump and your skiis hit the slope.
Very good work, keep writing!
Not bad
Very cute.
Isn't Prompt Attack just fun?
~Blue
heyyy
I really like this, good job. Keep Writing! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX