Published February 8, 2011
There's a letter opener with my name on it
I tossed it in the trash last night
Trash is what we normally filter out when we speak
You don't know me
Nobody knows me
I saw a story about me on the television
It was all wrong
Why? It was narrated by one man
I am one man
And one man deserves a million narrations
Me entire life is the pinnacle of my entire life
I have not the life of one person
I have the life of the world in my blood
Why? Because I have love
What is love when it is not?
Does it see when you are blind?
Does it reconcile when you spit?
Does it save lifes when you kill?
Can it see when you are blind?
Does your love for a woman exist when she hates you?
Does it live on when you die?
Love is God
And God is love
So God lives in me
And I in God
Are you ready to love?
Throw out your letter opener
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
I'm not nearly this cocky in real life. I don't know why, but something compelled me to write like this. It's just a side project off my novel, I don't plan to come back to it. but thanks for the reviews!
I'll be honest; I wasn't a fan of this because of a few points -
-It was list-like, and kind of dull
-Part of it just sounds a little shallow and conceited, like "I deserve to be talked about all the time."
-The end (to me) felt a little preachy.
I think you would've done good to voice your idea in a more subtle and simple, wiser way. It's good to reveal patience in a religious poem, because otherwise it does get preachy and something close-minded. But you have potential.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver
Just looking at it, it's too repetitive in the foruth stanza. Questions in a list isn't the most entertaining. Sorry, I'm just lazy and leaving a comment. Good luck, keep writing.