Shifting From Shiftlessness

My urge to write stems from the emotional fight
within. Will I win? Or maybe I just might
lose as dudes do when they try to create rules
set by the past so that the future can't be refused.
But I, in the present, must choose my own path.

Thrice too many times have I seen the heart's wrath.
Can't relax the spirit when only the body takes the bath.
So the tension is forever, leaving the mind never.
On the road to possible love it pulls the brake lever.
Under many guises, it proves itself clever. Whether
I like it or not, it's there.

When She came along the past said, "Beware!"
I caught her with my gaze, she snared me in her stare.
My mind saw the challenge so my heart took the dare.
But its hard to play games with something so sensitive.
You can't build artificial feelings when emotions are so primitive.
So I took some initiative and decided to give
up.

The past put in memories as the chaser in that love cup.
Reminding me of when I didn't know when enough was enough.
When I ended up giving too much; my heart the biggest part.
After it was over, I'd try to go back to start.
But the sting was still there like the bite of a shark.
"Hark!" says the soul, "here we go again..."

Not looking for love but I hear it calling my name
from a distance even though she is within arm's range.
Am I going insane, or just returning to sanity?
I can no longer let my past bask in its own vanity.
Can't let it take control. Can't let it beat me.
I know what I have to do to become free.

At the port of mixed emotions, I'm ready to go up-river.
The past will blow cold memories to make me shiver.
Visions of future love will be my mind's warm coat.
But I can't complete the jouney unless she's with me in the boat.