Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Novel / Chapter » Fanfiction

E - Everyone

The city of the lost

by 2Stareyes


Star's bright eyes filled with tears as her father was dragged away. "Papa!" She cried.

Her father turned and looked at her. "Be brave my Stardust!" He whispered in her ear as they were torn away.

Star sobbed as he released her and was taken away. "Papa!" She whispered as she turned, running toward the woods of their country home.

"Girl! STOP!" A guard shouted as he chased her. 

Star's eyes flashed and she sped up. 

1 year later:

Star sighed as she got out of bed. She kept dreaming that one dream. She smiled when she heard the sounds of the village. The village was called the city of the lost, there were warrens for the outcasts and rejects. She was one of them now. "Ugh I need to go hunting today." She sighed as she changed into the soft hunting clothes, the black leather pants and shirt were a little big on her but they had plenty of pockets. She strapped a small knife on her leg. Tied her bow and arrows in their quiver and put them on her back. Then she grabbed a few more knives and stuffing them in pockets she turned and left the hut she lived in. 

"Hey Star!" The strong voice of her friend Jonathan rang out.

Star nodded to him. "Got to go hunting, what about you?" She asked him.

Jonathan shrugged. "Don't know, maybe hunt maybe not." He said.

Star nodded again and walked off. She reached the woods and grabbed her bow. "Tokaita come on lets go," she  said.

Her big black wolf dog leapt from his hiding place in the woods. He growled softly.

Star laughed and petted him. "Good boy Tokaita good boy. Lets go get some meat!" She said happily then she heard the snap of a twig. She felt Tokaita tense under her hand. "Who is there?" She asked deepening her voice.

"Help me please!" A boy's voice said weakly.

"Tokaita stay!" Star said sharply in her normal voice. She rushed to where she heard the voice. She saw a boy laying hidden in a pile of brush. "What do you need?" She asked again.

"Please they are after me!" He said his voice weak.

Star looked around heard the voices of some guards and she darted into the brush next to the boy. "Stay still!" She hissed. 

The guards passed. 

"Who are you?" The boy asked. 

Star glared at him. "What are you doing here?!" She snapped.

The boy's eyes narrowed, "Looking for you."

Star felt a chill run up her spine.

"I know who you are. Star. I know who you are!" His voice was cold and harsh.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
22 Reviews


Points: 54
Reviews: 22

Donate
Sun Feb 02, 2020 10:39 pm
Josie24 wrote a review...



Oooh, yaasssss!

Sorry, I'm composed now. To be honest, this came up on the recommended for you column on the side of the screen. I just read something long and not really my style, so I figured, why not?

DID. NOT. DISAPPOINT.

I realize this is a chapter, so there will (hopefully) be more, but I wish there were a little more detail on the scene (?) in the beginning. I also wish we had a little more detail about the village. Why was it the city of the lost? Why is everyone there outcasts? Was it a normal city once, and just overrun by outlaws, or did someone found it? If so, what made them decided they wanted to gather a bunch of outlaws in one place? Is it hidden (that would explain why people could live in peace there, without much fear of being caught)?

If you ever read your reviews: Can you tell me if you are going to be continuing this?

This must be really new- I say as I scroll up and read the date published (I'm a dork, I'm sorry). I loved it. I noticed you became a member today (Also while having scrolled up) I'm relatively new too. Is this your first story, first published-on-a-site, or first published on this site, or all three? I know these questions are weird, but I ran out of things to type because I have to be patient with my questions if you're going to write more on this story.




2Stareyes says...


This is chapter one, My first story published on a site and first on this site. I will work on adding more detail next time



Josie24 says...


Wow, that was fast! Good luck, I'll be looking for it! Okay, that sounded really creepy, I'm sorry.



2Stareyes says...


Dont worry about it




'The Answer to the Great Question... Of Life, the Universe and Everything... Is... Forty-two,' said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.
— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy