Darkness creeps over, like a gust of poison;
threatening to kill the innocent
it steals them from their beds, and leaves them lifeless,
like they were just dolls to start with;
(ghosts are now coming) and swarming over their dead bodies,
and creating fake images of them,
while taking over their names.
An angel may receive sweets and treasures;
while a demon would receive know such gift,
and if a vampire came to see you its only wish would be
to give you (blood thirsty nightmares) for the rest of your life,
yes these are things that haunt each house;
when a child plays the game of trick or treat.
Be careful what you dress as,
for a witch comes with tricks and endless pain;
but a fairy comes with only treats and love.
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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,742 Reviews
Hey! AnotherCrowInRow (or simply Kay) is here with a review of your poem!
The grammar is at a very good level - I personally did not notice any mistakes that were visible at first glance, so we can mark off this part of the review as well done. The flow is also good, I don't feel that at any point the poem gets too stuck in one place. I feel a bit like the first half of the poem flows a little worse than the rest? But that's just my personal impression.
Overall, you play very cleverly with the atmosphere here - even if I hadn't read the title of the poem, I would have felt the Halloween vibe of a certain creepiness for one hundred percent.
The whole poem is interspersed with details that refer to the time of year you write about (and which I absolutely love!) I found several things in this poem that I liked - from the small descriptions to the whole scenery of the dead turning into ghosts, there is a lot that can interest a person.
My favorite part was probably the final one:
So overall it was a very nice poem that captured the scariest day of the year brilliantly. Great job!
Have a nice rest of day/night/whatever is in your timezone since timezones are chaotic and stay safe!
- Kay
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the possessed S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - This is a poem about the scares and spooks of Halloween, all of the creepy corners in every spot. It’s full of mystery and magic, all of which are intriguing!
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I think that you meant to say “no” for the demon part, but that’s just one little thing.
Chocolate Bar - I love how the poem seems to be scary and spooky, breaking up the different parts of Halloween. You can give it a higher rating if you want but I don’t think that you need to. The beginning starts off with fright but ends with delight! I think that my favorite parts would be the mention of a witch and a fairy, on how differently they will act on Halloween.
Closing Graham Cracker - The ghosts are lurking in the air, the ghouls are hiding in every corner. The night is riddled with magic that can curse or gift anyone outside (and even inside). Halloween is alive this night and nobody can run! With that, I wish you…
A spooktacular day/night! ^v^
Thank you so much for the review, I'm glad you liked it
sending happy Halloween vibes!!!