Young Writers Society

I am not a sucker for romantic stories but i think this was really good. you got a style and it kept me hook til the end. that was a bang! based on this story alone, it think you could be good in scripts as well. you got a nice material going on here and i think, with further development, you could be really really good. writng t for lit class though, does it mean you don't write during your leisure time? hope not, you got a great talent here baby, you just have to furnish it and lo and behold world!

anyways, kudos for this nice piece... keep an eye on your other pieces as well =)

I am not a sucker for romantic stories but i think this was really good. you got a style and it kept me hook til the end. that was a bang! based on this story alone, it think you could be good in scripts as well. you got a nice material going on here and i think, with further development, you could be really really good. writng t for lit class though, does it mean you don't write during your leisure time? hope not, you got a great talent here baby, you just have to furnish it and lo and behold world!

anyways, kudos for this nice piece... keep an eye on your other pieces as well =)

I am not a sucker for romantic stories but i think this was really good. you got a style and it kept me hook til the end. that was a bang! based on this story alone, it think you could be good in scripts as well. you got a nice material going on here and i think, with further development, you could be really really good. writng t for lit class though, does it mean you don't write during your leisure time? hope not, you got a great talent here baby, you just have to furnish it and lo and behold world!

anyways, kudos for this nice piece... keep an eye on your other pieces as well =)

i found myself hooked after the first sentence! though, i was kind of getting annoyed towards the middle, thought he was going to choose the princess XD

i'm absolutely in love with your usage of grammar, made me feel like i was actually reading a story out of a book. that was really nice.

also, the ending is cheesy, but in that fairytale-awesome kind of way.

yeah... so, i wasn't much of a help but hey, i really enjoyed reading this!

-- zoey

Oh my gosh. WOW. I want to read it again and again and again!! This was FANTASTIC!! I mean, I've read short stories and hundreds of books but this REALLY left something, like a tingly feeling in my gut. Fantastic isn't even good enouggh. Glorious doesn't come close to how great it was. Amazed doesn't skim the boundries of my shock. This is a real classic, steady, percise, and well, supercalifragilistic, cause I don't know how else to report my excitement and love for this story. Great-- no, MAGNIFICANT story. I loved it.

I loved it!

Hey.

I won't even try to critique this. I love it too much. I'll only say that you should run it on spellcheck because there were some typos.

oh, well thinking back on it, the part where the Prince sort of realizes he's falling in love-- The part with the "... would it be loveless?" and the "his farm girl" rant was a little roughly written. And the 'his' realization made me cringe a little, almost too cheesy and too overdone in other works.

That was all I saw that needed some work. Your ending was love. I really enjoyed reading this. It gave me the same good vibes as Enchanted did.

Hey.

I won't even try to critique this. I love it too much. I'll only say that you should run it on spellcheck because there were some typos.

oh, well thinking back on it, the part where the Prince sort of realizes he's falling in love-- The part with the "... would it be loveless?" and the "his farm girl" rant was a little roughly written. And the 'his' realization made me cringe a little, almost too cheesy and too overdone in other works.

That was all I saw that needed some work. Your ending was love. I really enjoyed reading this. It gave me the same good vibes as Enchanted did.

I really liked it. I think its better than any of the other Cinderella retakes I've read.
I like the twist at the end with princess and I liked the way you described the farm girl in the beginning.

Hey there!

I really liked this! Especially the twist ending!

At first, I didn't like it so much, because it just seemed like a re-write of Cinderella, but the ending was really great!

When you first introduced the maiden at the ball, I don't think you put enough emphasis on that she was not the farm girl. At first I thought it was.
Apart from that though, I loved it!

Great job! Thanks for posting!

Keep writing!

~Mo.

I loved this--honestly. Great retake. I will never forget this. It's so twisting, I had not known what to think...besides 'what's coming next'? and everything was surprising. The way you wrote this is ideal, very...nice? awesome? great? I love your voice here.
Thanks for sharing.
Tata!
-Mizz

Hey, I'm Gen. I loved it!

That was a really, really good piece. I loved the plot, it was very original and creative.

I didn't like it straight away, but I mean, I never really like the first half of a story - it's never the best part. So it was in the beginning that I noticed grammar errors and such, so I feel you might want to edit it to fix that up.

Thank you so much for writing it, I really enjoyed reading it

~Gen