z

Young Writers Society



For Newt

by 1nspire



You were their leader,

they called you the glue;

you kept them all fighting,

no matter what you went through.

You held them all together,

so I guess your name makes sense.

Those guys needed you;

they’d follow anywhere you went.

You could inspire a nation

with only a few words,

your wisdom and your kindness

were all they ever heard.

Little did they know

that you weren’t okay at all,

until you climbed to the top

and jumped from the walls.

Somehow though,

you managed to survive

because everyone around you

needed you alive.

You picked yourself up,

worked hard in the maze

but no matter what they said

you still  hated the place.

Soon a new man came

who brightened up your day,

and where before stood only walls

he found an open gate.

Together you two led them

away from that place,

but even though you’re free,

there’s really no escape.

It was clear that you were different,

nothing like the rest

but different in this way

no one could have guessed.

Not immune to the disease

that all your friends evade,

there’s no easy fix;

for you, no place is safe.

You tried to hide it,

let them leave you alone

and when they returned

there was nothing but a note.

You thanked them all

for being your friends

and broke their hearts

by saying it was the end.

You asked the one who saved you

to take your life instead

And held a gun

to your own head.

“Kill me!” you told him

with no madness in your eyes,

you were afraid to lose yourself,

but not afraid to die.

You never found a reason

for your existence in the maze,

but the memories you shared

would never be erased. 

So when he pulled the trigger,

he lost his best friend;

maybe not immune,

but a hero none the less.

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments


User avatar
37 Reviews

Points: 1517
Reviews: 37

Donate
Mon Jun 04, 2018 11:49 pm
View Likes
Boluk wrote a review...



wow. Just wow. this poem is so well made. you sound like you actually were with newt at the time. Wow just wow. This poem has heart and dedication and bloodshed into it you used some pretty good adjectives, references, and you used a lot of heart. I already mentioned this in the begin in general but I feel the need to say it once again: you sound like you were actually with newt when you read this. I enjoyed quite a bit with this story from the formatting to the lyrics which are absolutely stunning. And to put everything in conclusion, this story can be mostly described like an average relationship. Sure, In the beginning it had some problems a few times it just dragged on a bit too long but you were generally sad when it was over. And for that I rate you four and a half newts out of fiv newts.




1nspire says...


Thank you so much!



Boluk says...


Your welcome!



User avatar
22 Reviews

Points: 26
Reviews: 22

Donate
Mon Feb 05, 2018 4:48 pm
Ken95 wrote a review...



Hi. Here for a quick review.

This is veeeeerrrrry interesting OMG. I felt like going over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and again.. This feels like it was talking about a falling soldier. Who probably joined the force just to protect his family and friends. The term "maze" describing how he endlessly fought his way through to freedom but never was free. He still endured the pain just for the sake of his loved ones.

He sacrificed everything, his life too because he couldn't take the pain any longer.

I can go on and on but I have other reviews to do. Nice one dear!




1nspire says...


Thank you so much!



User avatar
841 Reviews

Points: 664
Reviews: 841

Donate
Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:18 pm
View Likes
Radrook wrote a review...



Radrook here to provide feedback. I always try to help with my advice. But if I cahance to offend please accept my apology beforehand. First let me say that I am not familiar wirth Newt. But that doesn't really matter since the things I am about to point out are relevant regardless of who is being spoken about. Here are my suggestions that I feel will improve the readability of the poem.

1. Don't capitalize the fiirst letter of the first word of each new line. It makes it hard for the reader to know whter to read it as a new sentence or wherther to cobninue it as flowing from the line above. That causes pausing annd unnecessary pausing means that it is being perceived as choppy writing.

2. Punctuating prtopery would also improve the understanding by indicating pauses and stops.

Example:

You were their leader[.]

They called you the [G]lu

[a]nd you kept everyone fighting

[n]o matter what you went through[.]




1nspire says...


Thank you for the tips, I'll keep them in mind!



User avatar
212 Reviews

Points: 13620
Reviews: 212

Donate
Mon Feb 05, 2018 12:01 am
View Likes
birk says...



You wrote a tribute to Newt. That's hella cute





cron
fun fact i hear my evil twin once wrote a story about a hacker who used the name fyshi33k bc there are 33k-ish species of fish and she liked phishing so fyshi-33k made sense but then she got super embarrassed when someone forced her to explain
— VyperShadow