You were their leader,
they called you the glue;
you kept them all fighting,
no matter what you went through.
You held them all together,
so I guess your name makes sense.
Those guys needed you;
they’d follow anywhere you went.
You could inspire a nation
with only a few words,
your wisdom and your kindness
were all they ever heard.
Little did they know
that you weren’t okay at all,
until you climbed to the top
and jumped from the walls.
Somehow though,
you managed to survive
because everyone around you
needed you alive.
You picked yourself up,
worked hard in the maze
but no matter what they said
you still hated the place.
Soon a new man came
who brightened up your day,
and where before stood only walls
he found an open gate.
Together you two led them
away from that place,
but even though you’re free,
there’s really no escape.
It was clear that you were different,
nothing like the rest
but different in this way
no one could have guessed.
Not immune to the disease
that all your friends evade,
there’s no easy fix;
for you, no place is safe.
You tried to hide it,
let them leave you alone
and when they returned
there was nothing but a note.
You thanked them all
for being your friends
and broke their hearts
by saying it was the end.
You asked the one who saved you
to take your life instead
And held a gun
to your own head.
“Kill me!” you told him
with no madness in your eyes,
you were afraid to lose yourself,
but not afraid to die.
You never found a reason
for your existence in the maze,
but the memories you shared
would never be erased.
So when he pulled the trigger,
he lost his best friend;
maybe not immune,
but a hero none the less.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
wow. Just wow. this poem is so well made. you sound like you actually were with newt at the time. Wow just wow. This poem has heart and dedication and bloodshed into it you used some pretty good adjectives, references, and you used a lot of heart. I already mentioned this in the begin in general but I feel the need to say it once again: you sound like you were actually with newt when you read this. I enjoyed quite a bit with this story from the formatting to the lyrics which are absolutely stunning. And to put everything in conclusion, this story can be mostly described like an average relationship. Sure, In the beginning it had some problems a few times it just dragged on a bit too long but you were generally sad when it was over. And for that I rate you four and a half newts out of fiv newts.
Thank you so much!
Your welcome!
Hi. Here for a quick review.
This is veeeeerrrrry interesting OMG. I felt like going over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and again.. This feels like it was talking about a falling soldier. Who probably joined the force just to protect his family and friends. The term "maze" describing how he endlessly fought his way through to freedom but never was free. He still endured the pain just for the sake of his loved ones.
He sacrificed everything, his life too because he couldn't take the pain any longer.
I can go on and on but I have other reviews to do. Nice one dear!
Thank you so much!
Radrook here to provide feedback. I always try to help with my advice. But if I cahance to offend please accept my apology beforehand. First let me say that I am not familiar wirth Newt. But that doesn't really matter since the things I am about to point out are relevant regardless of who is being spoken about. Here are my suggestions that I feel will improve the readability of the poem.
1. Don't capitalize the fiirst letter of the first word of each new line. It makes it hard for the reader to know whter to read it as a new sentence or wherther to cobninue it as flowing from the line above. That causes pausing annd unnecessary pausing means that it is being perceived as choppy writing.
2. Punctuating prtopery would also improve the understanding by indicating pauses and stops.
Example:
Thank you for the tips, I'll keep them in mind!
You wrote a tribute to Newt. That's hella cute